


We all got a second act, inside of us

by Drhair76



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Protective Julie Molina, Protective Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Needs a Hug (Julie and The Phantoms), also a lot of feelings :), am i about to write songs for this fic? read to find out, because i love them and they love each other, but yeah probably, free willie right the FUCK now. i am not joking, high key some empath magic is going on here, julie gives all of her boys spanish nicknames. why? because i said so :), lots of hugs. like a LOT, luke adopts a nervous guitar boy and Carrie adopts a nervous gay drummer, manifesting reggie molina for clear skin <3, not a white man explaining a woc's grief to her….life inspires art I guess., season two imagining, this is just "that's weird. that's suspicious" the fic, to be clear im referring to caleb (boooo), uh oh the girls are fighting!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27153029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drhair76/pseuds/Drhair76
Summary: "We're going to figure this out." She says, invigorated with a new drive. Out the corner of her eye she sees Luke grin. "And you're right- we'll do it together. No regrets."or, a season two fic where we beat Caleb up, free Willie, redeem Carrie, fall in love and sing some songs while we're at it!
Relationships: Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Caleb Covington & Willie, Flynn & Julie Molina & Carrie Wilson, Flynn/Nick/Carrie, Julie Molina/Carrie Wilson (past), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms) & Everyone
Comments: 161
Kudos: 447
Collections: JATP Appreciation Week





	1. together I think that we can make it

**Author's Note:**

> brought to you by my OBSESSION with this stupid ghost band show GODDDDDD I LOVE IT.  
> neway, enjoy my rambling <3

Julie shoots up in her bed with a gasp, her heart pounding, her chest heaving, the images of her nightmares still flickering behind her eyelids. 

Watching her boys jerking and convulsing in pain on the floor of the studio while she stood there unable to help- unable to even offer them comfort through touch- was the  _ worst _ . Sitting through it tore her up inside, but they all made it through, thank god. 

And yet, even though they’re okay, her dreams are plagued with their choked gasps and pale faces. The pain is so vivid that it’s almost as if she can feel it echo through her. 

She runs her shaky hands through her hair before pressing them against her face- she’s not crying like the last few days, so at least there’s that. 

Her mama used to always say,  _ it's the small victories mija, when things are rainy, try to think of the thirsty gardens getting a drink.  _

She takes a couple of breaths, pulls her covers off and heaves herself out of bed. She knows she's not getting back to sleep anytime soon. She just hopes her boys are awake so she doesn't have to spend the night alone with her thoughts. 

She knocks at the studio door as quietly as she can, shivering slightly at the cold air. 

Reggie pops his head through the door, hair mused like he'd been sleeping- or resting, or whatever ghosts do at night when they're tired. His eyes widen a bit and a tiny grin splits across his face. 

"Julie!" Something inside Julie relaxes at seeing him happy and safe. "What are you doing out here? Come inside- you look cold. And knocking? You live here!" 

He pulls back so his head isn't through the door and Julie lets herself in. 

"Well, you know," She says, a bit uselessly, "boundaries." 

Reggie grins and bounces back over to where he must have been laying, next to Luke. Luke is curled up on the couch asleep, looking smaller than Julie's ever seen him. Which is something considering he's taller than her, has a weird penchant for stand on her furniture and his personality could fill seven stadiums. Alex was sitting at the desk, writing absently in Luke's journal. Maybe a drum solo or penciling in a note from their earlier practice, or maybe even a lyric- Alex doesn't write them often, but when he does it's always pure poetry. She wishes he would do it more. 

Julie half smiles when she catches the way Luke reaches a hand for Reggie in his half conscious state and the way that Reggie simply lets Luke curl his limbs around him like a monkey. 

She already feels put at ease just by being in the same room with the three of them. 

"Julie?" Alex blinks, looking up from the journal, his brows furrowing. At hearing her name, Luke stirs a bit. "Is- are you alright? It’s pretty late." 

Julie takes a couple steps forward but doesn't meet Alex's eyes, keeping her gaze locked on Luke and Reggie and the way they're half intertwined. Something in her aches. 

"Couldn't sleep." She says softly, deciding not to interrupt the peace they've created. Alex hums in the way that tells Julie she isn’t as convincing as she thinks, but he also isn’t going to make her say what's really going on.

Luke's sitting up now, still pressed close to Reggie, a tired but elated smile on his face. "Jules, hi," And he looks like a spring flower opening up- like a song lyric waiting to be written. 

Julie grins all silly, unable to help herself- she matches Luke's expression and suddenly she can't remember what she was even worried about. That smile is impenetrable, unshakable, and they're all here and safe  _ now  _ so- 

Julie steps forward, feeling all zingy inside- like she’s being shocked from the inside out, like she needs to go out for a run, like she needs to be squeezed. 

"Guys," She says, "can I have a hug?" 

There's a pause and then all of them are jumping up in excitement. 

Alex gets to her first- unsurprising considering Luke and Reggie were still tangled together- and Julie is immediately wrapped up in his arms. She winds her arms around his waist and presses her face into his hoodie. He smells nice, like deodorant and something spring-like, reminding her of a windy field day in fifth grade. Bubbles and fresh cut grass and sunshine. 

Then Reggie is there, at her back, tucking his chin into the crook of her neck. He's warm, burning hot like a furnace, not at all like what she figured ghosts would be.  _ No wonder _ , she thinks,  _ no wonder Alex and Luke are always unconsciously gravitating towards Reggie- _ his warmth reaches down to Julie's bones and chases the chill away. If she could touch him all the time she'd wiggle her head under his arm and drape it over her as if he was her personal hoodie. 

Luke comes bounding in last and he half glomps all three of them in his excitement, knocking Alex's arms loose. Julie doesn't mind. She gets a hand free and curls it into his tee, pulling him in and leaning into his hands when they smooth her hair away from her face. His palms are warm and soft and gentle and being like this? Having her boys near her? Feeling as real and safe as they can be? It makes something in Julie click back together. 

" _ Eso es mejor _ ," she sighs, her eyes fluttering closed, all the tension she was holding on to easing instantly. "I'm glad you guys are okay." 

That makes Alex stiffen then pull away slightly and Julie frowns at the space he leaves. "You're glad we're okay? Why wouldn't we be okay?" 

"Oh," Julie winces internally. "um-" 

Luke pulls away next, dislodging her hand from its place where it was tangled in his shirt. He looks at her with wide, worried eyes. "Yeah, you're down here pretty late- not that I'm complaining of course, but-" 

"-But usually you're in bed." Alex finishes and then there's a silence where two out of three of her ghost bandmates are looking at her with worried expressions. They're expecting an answer and she can’t exactly avoid them. 

Julie inhales shakily and then suddenly Reggie- who was still leaning on her, happily soaking up the physical affection- stumbles, falling through her, and she can only watch as Alex rushes to catch him. 

"Oh," Julie bites her lip, feeling that helplessness from earlier come back full swing. 

"Jules-" Luke starts, reaching out a hand to- to  _ do something  _ but it doesn’t matter because Julie wouldn't be able to find out  _ anyway. _

She can't lean against them when they're writing songs together or take one of their hands when she wants to swing it or poke them when they're being annoying or hug them when they're feeling sad. She can’t tug at Luke’s hair or dance with Alex or get piggy back rides from Reggie. 

She can’t figure out how this works- what it is that makes her able to touch them for these brief periods of time- 

And it fucking  _ sucks.  _

She steps back and Luke falters, pulling his hand back like he's been burned. 

"I just-" And  _ fuck,  _ she shouldn't have celebrated her thirsty gardens so early because here come the tears from earlier, blurring her vision and cracking her voice. "-I can't control this. This ' _ making you guys tangible thing' _ . I don't understand it and I wish I did because I want to touch you guys all the time. I get to hug my brother! I get to hug Flynn! I get to hug all my  _ other _ family, I just-" 

She chokes a little bit and presses her hands against her face as if she could push every tear back where they belong. 

"Julie," Alex says softly, sadly, and his voice trails a little, clearly unsure how to help. "Julie, we feel the same way- you- you aren't alone." 

She peaks through her fingers and turns her watery gaze to Reggie, who's nodding vehemently, a sad turn to his lips. 

"Julie," Luke says, his voice shaking a little. He steps closer and reaches out again and this time Julie doesn't move away. His hand passes through hers but she appreciates the sentiment. "You're family too, and- and this isn't just on you. We're going to figure this out okay? Together." 

Alex and Reggie nod firmly in agreement. 

"But what if you need me- what if Caleb comes back and-" 

Luke's expression twists with phantom pain, Julie knows it because she can feel it too. 

" _ If _ Caleb comes back," Reggie says slowly, eyes flickering from Julie to Alex, who is looking more tense than before, "then we'll deal with him together. No more running off-" then, to ease the tension, he adds, "-even if those ghost girls were pretty." 

Luke nods and Reggie gently bumps Alex, relaxing him. 

"Julie, we meant what we said." Luke says slowly. "We're doing this with you, no matter what. No regrets." 

Julie pauses then nods slowly. "Okay, no regrets." 

There's a pause and Reggie steps closer and just- curls his arms around Julie, face full of hope, but his arms pass right through. His face drops into a pout and Julie has never wanted to hug him more. 

"We're going to figure this out." She says, invirgarted with a new drive. Out the corner of her eye she sees Luke grin. "And you're right- we'll do it together. No regrets." 

….

There's a knock at the door and Julie half groans because Luke's sitting at the kitchen table with her, grinning goofily as they parse through half finished lyrics and try on and off to touch hands. 

Whenever they don't connect- which, admittedly, is majority of their attempts- Julie would huff and Luke's smile would dim slightly but pretty soon they'd be right back at it, determined to get it at least once. 

But either way, when the doorbell rings Julie pulls away from the allure of writing with Luke and goes to answer it. 

"Hi, can I help-" Julie stops when she sees who's there. 

Carrie is on the other side of the door, looking more uncomfortable than Julie's ever seen her. And Julie isn't shocked as to why- she's the  _ last  _ person Julie's expected to knock on the door. 

"Carrie." She says, soft shock in her voice. "Um, hi. Did you-" 

Where someone else would've ducked their head, Carrie just lifted her chin- not defiantly, but more so confidently- making Julie think of the  _ fake it till you make it  _ motto that Carrie basically lived by. 

"I was at your performance at the Orpheum." She says. "I- well. It was no Dirty Candy production but your holograms were impressive." 

"Oh." Julie blinks. "Thank you?" 

Carrie nods, her lip quirking slightly. "Yeah, my dad was  _ really  _ impressed with them. Almost transfixed. Maybe I'll get some holograms of my own." 

Julie stills for a half a moment before seeing the light in Carrie's eyes- Carrie is  _ joking  _ with her. 

Julie chuckles nervously, noting the fact that Trevor-  _ Bobby-  _ saw them play in the back of her mind. 

"So, yeah I just wanted-" Carrie continues, looking more unsure now. "-I don't know. Your band is pretty good. I'd love to meet them one day." 

Julie squints, unable to help but feel a little suspicious. "Yeah? Well, being seen isn’t really their thing but, who knows? Maybe.” 

And then Carrie smiles, something true and genuine and Julie is instantly taken way back to 6th grade, inside jokes and dance parties and loud laughter, eating too many sweets before dinner and trying on colored sunglasses in shops. A feeling hits Julie, sweet and strong, full of nostalgia, as she thinks about painted nails and quick chapstick kisses. 

“Sounds...nice.” Carrie says and Julie grins. “And of course I have some notes for your band to give it the ultimate push to the top.” 

From behind her, Luke makes a noise. “ _ Notes _ ?” 

But Julie doesn’t care. “Maybe I’ll take a look at those.” 

Because Carrie was brillant-  _ is _ brilliant. Dirty Candy is loud and sparkly and maybe a smidge overproduced but when Carrie has a vision, Julie knows from experience that she sticks to it. And they’re really good- Julie just wished that Carrie had more confidence in her own abilities...in more ways than one. 

Carrie tilts her head a bit. “Okay then...I’ll see you in school.” She pauses, then adds, “Say hi to Carlos for me?” 

Julie waves as Carrie leaves, still half in shock when she shuts the door. Luke, who was perched on the arm of the couch, is watching her closely, a weird look on his face. 

"That was...something." He offers slowly, clearly attempting to prompt her into sharing her thoughts. 

Julie just walks by him, sitting down at the kitchen table. Unsurprisingly, Luke poofs in a second later, sitting in the chair next to her. Julie doesn't speak even though she knows Luke is eager to listen. Her eyes catch on the flowers that Nick had brought her a day or two ago, the ones she placed neatly into a vase. 

Julie wonders if Carrie had gone to apologize to Nick or try to make up with him in some way. Julie can admit that from what she knows about Carrie, it doesn't seem very likely. 

"Carrie and I used to- well, we used to be...close." She starts, finally having gathered her courage. 

Luke nods readily. "You guys used to be friends." 

Julie hesitates. "Yes, but- closer." 

Luke's brow furrows, his gaze flicking to the flowers and then back. "Oh." He says simply. 

"Yeah. _ Oh. _ " 

Luke is quiet for a moment before he leans closer, resting his chin in his palm, big eyes watching her- the picture of invested. "Tell me about her?" 

"You want to hear about Carrie?" She asks back, dodging the question. 

Luke's nose wrinkles but he doesn't let up. "She's important to you, you're important to me: yeah." 

Julie's face flushes and she eases. Luke's expression is open, non judgmental- not as if it would make much sense for him to be judgemental but still, those anxieties are hard to unlearn. 

"Luke," She says, feeling like the definition of love, "you're important to me too." 

Luke grins like a goof, then rolls his wrist expectantly, as if to say:  _ go on, keep talking.  _ So Julie huffs, a sound that's half exasperation and half fondness, and starts talking. 

She tells him about sleepovers- staying up till the sun was rising, talking about anything, fawning over magazines and new albums and sharing hushed laughs. She tells him about classes- writing the answers on each other's shoes to cheat on tests and passing notes back and forth in the middle of lectures and always  _ always  _ sitting next to one another even if they had to sit in the very back of the class to do it. 

She tells him about the lazy afternoons after school- curling up together in the same bed, knocking knees and singing softly to each other as they cuddled close. 

She tells him about the first kiss, then the second, then the third- 

And then she stops because Luke's eyes are soft and gentle, the way that Julie likes. If she talks about the fourth kiss- the last one- they'd begin to well with tears, Julie knows that instinctively. 

"Julie…" He says, trailing off a little. And yeah, what else can you really say to that?

"Yeah." 

There's a pause and then:

"I want to hug you." Luke admits unabashedly. Julie ducks her head, biting her lip to keep her smile under control. 

She gingerly holds out her hand, like she had been doing on and off all day, and Luke follows her lead, moving to touch her fingertips. Julie inhales sharply when the touch connects and she can feel him. Luke's eyes widen and he gently takes her hand into his. 

She watches in wonder as he laughs breathlessly, looking like he could spend an eternity just running his fingers over her palms. 

Julie stands, startling him, and doesn't think twice before curling her arms around him fully and pulling his head close to her stomach. He stiffens, overwhelmed for a moment before he melts like snow, lacing his arms around her waist and pulling her as close as he can. 

Just because she can, Julie presses a tiny kiss into his hair and grins when she feels him shiver. 

"Figuring out how to do this more often should move to the top of our priority list." Luke says, his voice muffled by her hoodie. 

"Oh?" She says, teasing, "Not booking gigs? Not writing songs?" 

Luke mumbles again but this time Julie can't hear it; he's basically burrowing his face as deep into her hoodie as it can go, almost as if he's embarrassed. 

Julie frowns. This is the ghost that stood up on her piano bench, recited her own poem to her and then tried to  _ argue  _ her into owning her talent- she didn't even know embarrassment was an emotion he could  _ feel.  _ She pulls back, making him look her in the eyes. 

His face flushes a little and he looks down to avoid her eyes. "I don't know, it's just- holding you...it- it feels like coming home." 

Julie inhales sharply, feeling warm all over. " _Oh_ _hermoso idiota_ ," She sighs happily. Luke's gaze lifts curiously and Julie leans down to press a kiss to his pink cheek. "I feel the same way Luke. Trust me." 

And just like that he's back to grinning wildly, making moon eyes. "I like hearing you speak Spanish- it's nice." 

Julie hums, playing with his fingers absently. "Even when I'm calling you an idiot?" 

" _ Especially _ then." 

Julie snorts and is about to tell him that,  _ hey, at least you're beautiful,  _ when the sound of footsteps on the stairs catches her attention. Her dad is coming down but when he sees her, he stops. 

"Uh- Julie, who is that?" 

Julie jerks in shock and suddenly her hands, which were folded into Luke's, closed into fists. 

"What? Who?" She asks, recovering quickly, standing straight up and ignoring the way Luke and her dad were staring at each other. 

Ray blinks, squinting at the chair as if he could still see Luke's outline if he looked hard enough. "I just- I thought I saw-" 

"Papa, you might need to go lie down." Julie cut in loudly, moving to grab Luke's journal and shut it. Ray opens his mouth to protest, but she continues, "-no, I mean it, really. You should rest. I'll call Tia and ask her if she'd be willing to come over." 

Ray is quiet for a moment before sighing heavily. "Ay, maybe you're right. I  _ do  _ feel a headache coming on-" 

"-don't worry papi, I'll have Carlos bring you some water." 

Ray nods slowly, then smiles fondly. "Ah, alright, you're the best mija." 

Julie smiles big, waiting until he's all the way back up the stairs and his bedroom door shuts before turning to Luke. 

"What the  _ fuck?"  _ She hisses. 

"What even just  _ happened _ ?" Luke blinks.

"Oh God, if people can see you when you're corporeal then-"

"-then this just got a lot more complicated." Luke finishes for her, his face grim. 


	2. running from the past, tripping on the now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So what do we do?" Reggie asks, finally speaking up. 
> 
> Julie looks over to him and something in her face makes Reggie's heart sink. He knows what she's going to say before she says it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the reggie and carrie special.....

Originally, Reggie was just going to have a rocking band practice, try to take the band down the country route again and let Julie practice her 'tangibility' powers on him, but now…

Well. Let's just say the news isn't _great._

"Okay, okay, back up." Alex says, holding his hands up in the universal motion for stop. He's still got the drum sticks in his hand though, because just like Reggie, he assumed this would be a normal session. "So you're telling me that he for _sure_ saw you?" 

Luke nods slowly. He is sitting _on_ the piano, which Julie constantly tells them not to do, but Reggie's pretty sure that 1. Julie keeps forgetting that they're ghosts and that they can't exactly leave dents or fingerprints and 2. Luke is special _._

"He made direct eye contact Alex." Luke runs a hand through his hair. "Looked _right_ at me. Luckily he didn't see me long enough to recognize me, but-" 

"He's had to have put the pieces together by now." Julie finishes. She sounds nervous. _Looks_ nervous. 

Reggie would be too. If his dad walked in on him snuggling with the phantom that he was in a band with, well, it definitely wouldn't be a fun night that's for sure. 

"So what do we do?" Reggie asks, finally speaking up. 

Julie looks over to him and something in her face makes Reggie's heart sink. He knows what she's going to say before she says it. 

"I think…" She starts hesitantly, "I think the best thing to do is to keep you guys separate for now. Just until we get control of this." 

Alex and Luke both immediately turn to look at him with _those eyes_ and Reggie kind of wants to hide. Something deep in Reggie's chest sort of caves, like a sandcastle with a weak foundation. 

"Reg," Alex takes a step forward but Reggie just ducks his head, moving to thrum absently at his guitar- the first couple of chords of the song he's been pitching for a couple weeks now. 

"S'okay." He manages, focusing on strumming. The sound of the guitar is much more soothing than a bass, more gentle, comforting. "I figured as much." 

_It's not that bad,_ Reggie tells himself. _It could always be worse._

Except, Julie has Luke and Alex has Willie- so Reggie is alone. Again. 

Of course, he's used to it; parents that fight usually don't want to be bothered afterwards. Family that splits off usually end up leaving him someone in the middle. When Alex met Willie and Luke started to hang around with Julie he figured this would happen- he hoped it wouldn't, but it was just how things _went_. 

That pain of being right- of his hope dimming yet again- digs in deep and lingers in his chest.

"Reggie, we are _going_ to figure this out." Julie says, and the sheer determination in her voice makes Reggie want to believe her. If there's anyone who's going to stick to what they say, Reggie knows it'll be Julie Molina. "We have to." 

Reggie doesn't want to hope, but that's who he is. When his mother would promise that she'd stop letting his dad drag her into arguments or when his dad would promise to heal things over with her, Reggie couldn't help but believe them. 

He was always let down and he guessed that he always would be, but still- 

Reggie looks up and nods because this is his family. This is Alex and Luke and Julie. These are his people. 

They haven't let him down yet. 

Julie smiles, and it's a bit shaky, but it's true. He's reminded of a couple days ago when Julie came down to the studio in the middle of the night to sit with them. She was clearly more bothered by the fact that Celeb got to them when she couldn't help then she let on-

Reggie figures he can stand to be alone for a little bit if it means putting her at ease in some way. 

"There's something else," Julie says slowly. In the corner of his eye, Reggie sees Alex's gaze linger on him for a half a beat longer than everyone else. "It's about Trevor." 

Reggie stops playing. Luke's face twists. 

"What _about_ him?" Alex asks. 

"Apparently, Trevor and Carrie were at the Orpheum that night. They saw us perform." 

Reggie's gaze flickers from Alex's stiff shoulders to Luke's tight fists. 

"So did they like us?" He asks. 

Julie pauses, then half smiles knowingly when Alex's turns to him in exasperation, his earlier nerves forgotten. "Carrie said she had notes-" 

" _-notes_." Luke huffs, hoping down from the piano. "We can't add any more sparkles than we already have. We also can't do elaborate dance moves with our instruments- " 

"- _but-"_ Julie continues pointedly, looking as if she wanted to flick Luke's forehead, "she also said that her dad was _transfixed."_

"So he _definitely_ knows who we are." Alex recaps. Julie nods and then there he goes, pacing back and forth like he's having a race against himself. 

"Look guys, my dad is a somewhat easy fix but I don't know how I'll explain to Trevor- er- _Bobby-_ that I was playing with you guys." 

"What if you make us tangible and we talk to him ourselves?" Luke suggests and he kind of deserves it when Julie gives him her, _just because you're already dead doesn't mean I can't find a way to kill you_ glare. 

Reggie knows she's not likely to forget the night of the dance anytime soon. Especially considering that was the night that Caleb first got his hands on them. 

"No! Not for-" He steps closer to her, putting his hand up placatingly. "No, I'm over that, seriously. Thanks to you." 

Julie's expression softens. 

"I mean," Luke turns back to gesture to Reggie and Alex, "but if you could make us tangible then _we_ could explain and you won't have to risk sounding crazy." 

"He's right." Reggie agrees. "That would probably be the easiest thing to do." 

Julie half sighs, looking tired. "So you're saying that no matter what, everything leads back to us figuring out this ' _tangibility_ ' thing?" 

Alex stops his pacing, looking sympathetic. "I think so." 

"Cool," Julie groans, and Reggie wishes he could scoop her into a big hug- he also wishes someone would scoop _him_ into a big hug. "That's just great." 

…

Carrie Wilson isn't perfect, okay? 

She wishes that she could be but she just _isn't._ She used to be- or, at least, she used to feel pretty damn close to it, but she lost it somewhere along the way. 

She doesn't know how her life started crumbling to pieces, but if she thought hard about it, she could guess when. 

Nick broke up with her a couple of weeks ago, but Julie broke up with her _way_ before that. And if she's honest, she thinks that maybe she's just been slowly rotting from the inside out ever since then. 

Not only did she grow distant from her two closest friends, but she still has no clue how it happened or how to even begin fixing it. And not just when Julie and Flynn, but with everyone. 

The only people around her are the ones that _can't_ go anywhere or gain something from being her friend. It wasn't always like this. 

She remembers before, when she had genuine friendships- when she would go over to Julie's house and listen to Flynn's beats or skip class to run out to the beach with Nick and his friends. When Cindy asked to come over to her house so they could work on choreography- back when performing was for fun, not for fame. 

Watching Julie and her holograms play at the Orpheum made something almost forgotten well up in her- she’s seen Julie as an enemy for so long, someone that she had to beat so she could win- she almost forgot how much she _loved_ her and how _proud_ she was of her. 

They used to spend every second of every day together, they used to keep each other’s deepest secrets. 

Carrie honestly can’t say that she knows any of Julie’s secrets now. 

She wants that back- not Julie, clearly she’s infatuated with her hologram bandmate (and yeah, even with years gone by, Carrie still knows what Julie looks like when she’s in love)- but being able to trust someone with her secrets and having them trust her in return. She wants to be able to run on the beach again with no worries about who sees her. 

She wants to be the person she used to be before she felt she always needed to win. 

So when she gets to Dirty Candy practice, she tells her girls to take the week off. 

“Carrie, friday is open mic night.” Cindy protests. “Are we dropping out?” 

Carrie admires Cindy’s drive- it’s the reason they’ve worked so well for as long as they did, but Carrie’s got other plans for now. “Yeah,” she says and the other girls look scandalized, “we’re dropping out.” 

“But Julie and the Phantoms are performing.” Patricia says meekly. 

“I know. And- and if you want to go watch them, then you should. They’re pretty good. Well, great actually.” Carrie walks over to take the CD out of the CD player. “And if you want to still do the performance, you can- I just won’t be in it.” 

The girls’ jaws drop at that and they’re still open when Carrie hands the CD to Cindy. As she walks by, ready to leave, her journal tucked under her arm, Cindy speaks up. 

“Carrie, are you sure you’re alright?” 

Carrie turns, smiles as much as she’s able, “Yeah, I’ll be alright.” 

…

She calls Nick, because despite how horrible she’s been to him, he was always reliable. 

He doesn’t answer the first two times and Carrie chalks it up to apprehension. The last words they exchanged still rang through her head. 

_“We’re not getting back together-”_

_“Heard that one before.”_

But when two times becomes four, Carrie thinks that maybe Nick is actually angry with her. Which she guesses she understands, but as long as she’s known him, he’s never been the type to hold a grudge. He’s a bleeding heart, a forgiving soul- but maybe the problem lies with _Carrie_. 

She hoped she wasn’t in too deep for the most forgiving person she knew to not give her a second chance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is reggie going to get a hug at some point in this fic? idk, I guess we'll see


	3. two worlds collide when I'm with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's head snaps up and oh. 
> 
> It's Willie and he looks- well, he looks as good as he did the last time Alex saw him. There's a half smile on his face, his eyes are bright and his cheeks are weirdly rosy for someone who's dead. 
> 
> "Willie," Alex breathes, feeling like a huge weight just fell off his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did someone ask for a ship chapter? :)  
> (also i may or may not have written a song for this chapter, just think of Jason Mraz's I Won't Give Up when you think of the music)

When she comes home from school later that day, she's surprised to find the garage empty of everyone except for Luke. 

She figured that the boys would stick close to Reggie considering he can't hang out with her dad and Carlos anymore. Reggie might think he hid his pain well, but- well, Julie doesn't know _what_ it was- it was almost like she could feel what he was feeling. Only a slight echo, not strong enough to overwhelm her _own_ emotions but still enough for her to know he was hurting. 

Luke looks up when she walks in and smiles. "Hey, Alex and Reg went to go see if they can 'run into' Willie." He says, reading her mind. 

Julie frowns a little. 

"Don't worry," He stands, still smiling charmingly- jittering a bit, "they're steering _way_ clear of the club." 

"Okay." She blinks, then huffs playfully. "Hey, stop doing that." 

Luke freezes in the middle of reaching for his guitar. "Doing what?" 

"Reading my mind," She teases, brushing by him, deciding to not be too disappointed when she half walks through him. She sits down at the piano after putting her bag down, noting the tension in Luke's shoulders as he tunes his guitar. 

"So," She starts, "why aren't you with them? Reggie and Alex I mean." 

Luke shrugs big, his feet shuffling a little. He strums idly, easily picking up a melody and running with it, letting it grow and change- become soft and sweet, almost _tender._ His shoulders drop from around his ears as he goes on, almost as if the simple instrumental calms him. 

But it's his lack of pause when changing notes that keys Julie in. 

"You wrote something new?" She asks. She itches to add a bit of piano, make this a proper jam session- _a luke-julie special-_ but something is different. 

_He's nervous_ , she realizes. 

"Uh," He stops playing, fiddles with his pick. "Well, I have some of it. Just a little."

"What I heard sounded beautiful." Julie reassures him. "And I'm sure it's amazing. You're a fantastic songwriter Luke." 

Luke pauses and looks at her- like _really_ looks. And in that moment, Julie knows he _sees_ her. She feels a wave of _something_ rush over her, powerful and strong, almost magnetic. It’s their connection, the thing she feels when they sing together, the thing that pulls her to him. 

Luke ducks his head, nodding now, looking more like his old self. Julie wonders if he felt that same wave of emotion. "Okay, um- alright. I've only got about half a song here but- okay." 

He steps closer, taking a breath. 

When he starts the melody again, it's more hesitant than before, wrecked with nerves. It's so quiet and gentle that Julie almost can't believe it's coming from her own Luke Patterson. 

When he starts singing, she has to lean in to hear. 

_your sound calls for me, brings me close_

_I always hear you_

_your notes ring through my head, can't forget_

_I'm swallowed whole now_

He eases a bit, loosens, and Julie can feel it in the music. His eyes stay glued on the strings as he plays- wanting to get it right. The sound deepens, opening up, moving from quiet and nervous to light and real- and _this_ is Luke at his best. Writing from his heart, pulling from his emotions, putting everything he has down on the page to be sung. 

_Want to be around, every single day_

_cause when I say a sentence it probably begins with your name,_

_it's perfect, this feeling, I wouldn't give it up_

_it's real, it's true, it's love, but-_

His demeanor changes, brows furrowing, forehead creasing almost as if pained. His strumming picks up, hitting harder- _firm._ He looks up, eyes wet, and he sings louder, sounding raw; full of so much feeling that Julie couldn't even _try_ to sift through it with one listen.

_I want to hold you, so bad I can't breathe_

_i want to touch you, bring your light to me,_

_i want to feel you, across the music, across the music_

Julie is back to her full force buzzing from the other day as she watches Luke bring the song back to a softer place; brings it back down to that sweet, personal space he started in. 

_I'm going to hold you, I'll do the deed_

_I'm going to touch you, bring your light to me,_

_I always feel you, across our music, across our music_

She stands when he's done and doesn't even _care_ that she might face plant into the floor. She basically tackles him- he barely has the time to set his guitar down before he has to catch her. 

And _oh_ , there it is, that feeling she's always, always chasing. The feeling of getting home from school after a long test day, of sinking into bed after an amazing performance, of digging into Tia Victoria's famous _albondigas-_

Satisfaction at her tip and her toe, warmth filling out the middle and love everywhere else. 

_Coming home._

Luke huffs a small laugh, his arms tightening around her, rocking them both gently. "I take it you liked it?" 

Julie tucks her face into his neck. "Of course I loved it- _you_ made it _mi perrito,_ how could I not?" 

Julie can _feel_ Luke go red and he spins them both a little bit in joy. It's there, wrapped up in his arms, that she realizes it's those feelings of _family_ and _love_ that makes them tangible to her. That the love she has for them builds in her soul and spreads out through her fingertips towards them. 

" _Mi perrito?"_ Luke repeats, pulling back. He runs his hands down her arms and takes her hands. "What does that mean?" 

Julie smiles sheepishly. "Puppy- you know, you're like a tiny pup. _Cachorro pequeño."_

Luke blushes but makes a face of mock offense. "Puppy? I am at _least_ a medium aged dog." 

Julie squeezes his hands. "Medium aged _annoyance."_

Luke scoffs loudly, poking at her playfully and Julie's resulting smile is like the sun. 

...

Flynn basically careens into her at their lockers, her eyes wide. She's practically _vibrating_ and Julie just knows she's not ready for whatever news she's about to hear. 

"Julie, Julie, oh ho, have I got something for _you."_ She puts her hand against Julie's locker, blocking her from getting her books. 

"Flynn, I'm telling you, you've _got_ to stop with the sodas before class." She teases. "Mrs. Harrison likes it when you stay on tempo."

Flynn waves like she's batting Julie's concerns away. "Mrs. Harrison _loves_ my improv- she thinks it's fantastic." 

Julie giggles, and she can't deny it. Whenever Flynn goes on a trumpet run Mrs. Harrison's smile is ten megawatts in terms of brightness. 

"But no, you're _really_ not going to believe the news." 

"Okay, okay. spill. I'm ready." 

Flynn gives her a look, like _oh you are not ready for this,_ "Carrie isn't performing at the open mic night tomorrow." 

Julie pauses, gaping. "Wait, _what?"_

"I told you that you weren't ready for it." 

"Dirty Candy isn't performing?" 

Flynn shakes her head. "Well, I overheard Patricia and Ena talking- apparently Dirty Candy _will_ be performing but Carrie just won't be. Cindy'll be leading them in a dance routine." 

Julie frowns. "Wha- That's so weird. Why wouldn't...Do you think she's hurt?" 

Flynn gives her a look as she moves to open her locker. "You think Carrie would not perform because of an injury? How long have we known her- I think I've _seen_ her dance on a sprained ankle before." 

Julie winces. "Ah, yeah, I remember. Not a fun day." 

Flynn nods and opens her mouth to say something but then Nick comes up from behind her, grinning. 

"Hey Julie," He says, barely throwing Flynn a glance. Flynn blinks and Julie can see hurt flicker across her face for a brief moment. "I heard a rumor that we're doing a project on songwriting. Why don't you partner with me?" 

"Um," Julie's eyes flicker from Nick's self assured, smug grin to Flynn's furrowed brows. "I don't know, usually I partner with Flynn on these-" 

"Oh come on, you'd be _shocked_ at some of the ideas I have. And besides, the mark of a great performer is adaptability- working with the same partner every time? Tsk, Harrison's not going to like that. I mean, your spot technically has already been filled in. You're gonna want to try extra hard to keep it." 

Julie jerks back a little, hurt. "I- I-" 

But it seems that Flynn has heard enough. She slams her locker door shut and steps in front of Julie, blocking her from view of Nick. 

"Nick, I don't know what your deal is today but that was fucked up." Flynn snaps, jabbing him in the shoulder. Nick looks down at her with an annoyed look, as if she was just a nuisance. "Julie is _amazing_ and Mrs. Harrison _knows_ that. That's why she's still in the program- she doesn't need to go out of her way to prove her worth. She'll shine with anyone she works with because of _her talent,_ not yours." 

Nick is quiet for a moment, his eyes dark and angry in a way that Julie's _never_ seen in all the years she's known him, and then he speaks. "Whatever. We'll see about that. See you in class Julie." 

Then he walks away, leaving Flynn seething and Julie _extremely_ concerned. 

...

"Alex, I don't think we're going to run into him." 

Alex takes a steady breath in and lets it out. Reggie being pessimistic was not a good sign because it usually meant that he was correct. 

It was how they worked- _Alex_ was the pessimistic one, always seeing the worst outcomes in every situation. Reggie was the optimistic one, bouncing into things with a huge grin, thinking the best of everyone. 

"Just-" Alex turns in another circle, squinting around the skatepark, ignoring the slight desperation in his own voice. "-just a couple more minutes." 

Reggie pauses then nods. "At least the weather's nice. It would suck if it was raining out- or, wait, would we even _feel_ rain _?"_

Alex's whole body pulses with warmth for Reggie because he knows what his bandmate is doing. Reggie has his moments, but he's _very_ emotionally intelligent. Alex hypothesizes that it's due to growing up in a home prone to minefield arguments and being _forced_ to learn to read other's emotions but- 

But thinking about a tiny Reggie learning how to navigate emotions through trial and error makes Alex's blood boil. So he doesn't. 

"I mean, we still feel the sun?" He offers. "So it stands to reason that we'd feel the rain." 

Reggie peered down a ramp, like he was weighing the pros and cons of sliding down it on his ass. "Okay _but,_ I haven't felt cold yet. I thought being dead would be cold." 

"Reg, we all know you run hot." 

"You're not my type but thank you." 

"Temperature hot Reggie. _Temperature_ hot." 

Alex isn't even the least bit shocked when Reggie sits down and slides down the ramp like it's a slide. He's also not surprised when Reggie pouts at how he has to scoot down because it's _not a slide._

"You know, that would work a million times better if you had some wheels." A voice calls out. 

Alex's head snaps up and _oh._

It's Willie and he looks- well, he looks as good as he did the last time Alex saw him. There's a half smile on his face, his eyes are bright and his cheeks are weirdly rosy for someone who's dead. 

"Willie," Alex breathes, feeling like a _huge_ weight just fell off his shoulders. Willie's _here,_ he's _alright,_ he's _safe._ "-you, you're okay." 

Willie's grin shifts a little, becoming more forced and then Alex is made to study him closer. The way he stands, the stiffness in his shoulders- _something_ isn't right. 

"You _are_ okay... right?" 

Willie steps closer, into Alex's space, and Alex abruptly realizes that Willie's eyes are so bright because they're welling with tears. 

"Willi-" 

Alex is cut off by Willie crashing into him and pulling Alex close. He’s tense for a moment before hugging back, squeezing the skater as tight as he can. Vaguely, Alex can hear the telltale sound of Reggie leaving, but Alex is too invested in memorizing the way Willie feels in his arms to pay it much attention. 

"I thought you were gone." Willie says into Alex's shoulder, his voice muffled and wet. "I thought I'd never see you again." 

"I thought _I'd_ never see you again either. I thought- I mean I thought we were dead." 

They stay like that, clinging to each other, soaking in each other, for a while. Alex waits for Willie to pull away first and when he does, Alex lets him go reluctantly. 

Willie sits down on the edge of the ramp, letting his feet dangle down and Alex follows him, sitting as close as he dares. Clearly, it's not close enough for Willie because he moves so their thighs are touching. 

"How are you here?" Willie asks, breaking their companionable silence. "I'm glad that you _are_ , but...how?" 

Alex chuckles a little. "I have no idea. The Orpheum wasn't our unfinished business so we should've ceased to exist. Julie stopped us though. She made us tangible?"

Willie blinks. "Woah. A lifer that can make ghosts tangible? Holy shit, she must be powerful as hell." 

Alex laughs, nodding, thinking of when he first saw her sing in the studio. The light from the sun, the piano notes, the pain and power in her voice- it _moved_ something in Alex when he first heard it and she _kept_ moving him ever since. 

"What about you?" Alex asks, grateful to be able to get the answers to the questions plaguing him for weeks now. "Are you alright? Did- did you get into trouble for helping us?"

Willie turns to look down into the drop, avoiding Alex's eyes. "Ah, it's nothing I can't handle." Alex opens his mouth but then Willie looks back up, face firm, eyes fierce. "I'd do it a million times over for you Alex. Seriously." 

Alex feels pinned by Willie's gaze and he can't think of a single thing to say so he goes with his gut and takes Willie's hand. Willie inhales sharply in surprise but squeezes tight and holds on. 

Alex marvels at the feeling, the shock static in his chest, the rapid fire beat of his own heart- but also the feeling of complete freedom he gets. He can hold someone's hand in public and no one will bat an eye. And yeah, maybe he had to die to get this but he'd die over and over and over again to keep it. 

To keep Willie with him. 

There's a tugging in his chest, that feeling of being pulled that Alex has come to recognize as Julie's music calling him but Alex ignores it in favor of leaning against Willie's shoulder. 

Who knows when Alex will run into him again? 

Julie and the band will always be there, but Alex needs to soak up the seconds that he can with Willie before he can't anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Juke playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5NJ11KfEqDMUFFQPRUwbV1?si=cv5oBh2FTqSAASevrb7HWg 
> 
> JATP playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/059bc6lTz259cDIWvoSxRk?si=B1GPIoRWRj-hlDvc9cwe4w


	4. silent days, mysteries and mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Guys, I think we should just talk about this-" Reggie tries again, his voice trembling, but Luke turns away, scoffing. 
> 
> "No, you know what, whatever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for this one <3

Julie is dreading class the next day in a way that she never has before. She’s also dreading seeing Nick in a way that she hasn’t since she called him ‘Nicky-poo’ to his face that one time.

She doesn’t know what was up with him the other day but that _certainly_ wasn’t the Nick she’s known for most of her life. The Nick she knows is kind and caring and humble- it's why she liked him for all those years. 

If anything, Julie is just worried about him. There has to be a reason for him acting the way he did. Maybe she just hasn't figured it out yet. 

When she gets to class, she tries to catch his eye, but he's focused steadily on Mrs. Harrison, while mumbling under his breath. Weird, but Julie talks to ghosts on the daily so she can't really judge. Maybe he's got some ghost friends of his own that he talks to. 

"If we actually have a project, I'm dropping this class." Flynn groans from next to her, her voice muffled by the way her _face_ is pressed into the desk. "I still have math homework that I didn't finish." 

"You can copy mine at lunch, stop being so dramatic." Julie offers, reaching over and patting Flynn's head, grinning when she swats at her. 

"Okay class," Mrs. Harrison starts after the bell rings. "We're just going to jump right in because we don't have a single moment to lose. Don't groan, but I am assigning a project- it's due next week wednesday, so you have plenty of time to work on it." 

"Looks like Nick was right." Flynn mumbles under her breath. "The _only_ thing he was right about." 

"The project is to write me a song about anything you want- simple enough, right? Ah, but here's the catch." She clasps her hands together, smiling warmly. " _I_ will be assigning the partners. No more pairing with people you're familiar with, I want you all to work outside the box." 

"Oh _no."_ Julie covers her face with her hands. "Nick was right about a _lot_ more than just us having a project." 

"With our luck, you're going to get paired with Nick and I'm gonna get paired with- I don't know- _Carrie,_ or something." Flynn sighs. 

"No way," Julie huffs. "Come on now. Our luck isn't _that_ bad. It'll be fine." 

Ms. Harrison announces the names and- apparently their luck _is_ that bad. 

"You _jinxed_ us." Julie hisses as she pulls her bag off the chair. 

"Hush, at least _you_ have Nick who's only started acting crazy recently. _I_ have Carrie who's been acting _steadily_ crazy for years now." 

Julie does the mature thing and sticks out her tongue in response. 

…

Getting paired with Flynn wasn't Carrie's worst nightmare. Flynn has amazing eyes for fashion, an amazing ear for production and was a million times better at writing rhymes than Carrie was. She was actually kind of excited to work with her and get a fresh new take on songwriting. 

But Flynn looked like she was attending her own funeral as she pulled a chair up next to Carrie's desk. 

They both sat in awkward silence for a moment, avoiding each other's gazes before Carrie took a breath. 

"Look, Flynn. I think I should- Uh- clear the air a little bit." 

Flynn looks up, her expression guarded. 

"I- I haven't been the nicest to you." She starts haltingly, folding her hands on the desk. "And I- well, that wasn't cool of me. To do. To you. So, yeah."

Flynn stares at her for a long moment. "You don't have much experience with apologizing huh?" 

"Is it that obvious?" 

"Uh, _yeah_." Flynn considers Carrie for a second. "Hm, well, actions speak louder than words...but I guess we can team up to not fail. You wanna hear some ideas I have?"

Carrie grins, nodding eagerly. 

...

Julie trudges over to Nick's desk and awkwardly sits next to him. 

His lips curl, less of a smile and more of a leer and a shiver goes down Julie's spine. She's never felt uncomfortable in Nick's space before- other than the fact that she was pining for him for a while- but now…

"Well, I guess we better get started right?" She offers, pulling out some paper and a pencil. "What's your process for writing a song?" 

Nick laughs a little bit. "The bigger the better. Loud sounds. I like to overwhelm the audience and put them into a trance." 

Julie pauses, raising an eyebrow. "Really? Oh, alright. I like to start slow and build up. I mean, you've seen us perform." 

"Ah," Nick nods. "Your band. Yeah, you know you're pretty good." 

Julie frowns. "I- I know, you told me...remember?" 

Nick blinks, caught off guard for a brief moment. "Oh, ah. Well then, another compliment for a pretty lady and her talented band couldn't hurt too badly huh?" 

Julie laughs nervously. "Thank you. I guess not." 

"But yes," He continues, pulling out his own piece of paper, scooting closer so their arms are touching. Julie's skin crawls; something in her gut curling up. "-start slow and build up. I'm good at starting slow to get to something big."

...

_ “‘I’m taking over your playlist, ain’t perfect but I can’t miss’ _ . Okay, so the Dirty Candy lyrics are  _ good."  _ Flynn says begrudgingly. "I mean, you're a talented songwriter-" 

Carrie flips her hair a little. "Tell me something I don't know-" 

"- _ but."  _ Flynn says pointedly, tapping at her notebook with her mechanical pencil. "Where is the heart?" 

Carrie blinks. "Heart?" 

"Yeah, I know a lot of pop stars and rappers sing about how they want to be the best and how they're the life of the party but-" Flynn shrugs. "After a while that gets a little boring. The audience loves it when a rapper writes poetry. Something real from the heart."

Carrie frowns thoughtfully. 

"So I'll ask you this before we start to plan this song: what are you feeling in your heart Carrie? And why should the audience care?" 

...

Other than the fact that the general air around Luke is tense, Reggie can tell just by his  _ stance _ that he’s not happy. 

Reggie’s only seen Luke angry once in his life. It was the day that Alex came out to his parents at dinner. They were all waiting up for him so they could celebrate together as a band, as a family, but when he showed up in the garage pale faced and shaking, the happy mood crumbled. At first Luke was fiery, his whole body tense and vibrating with repressed anger, but after a minute he was able to put it aside to help them comfort Alex. 

Now though, it’s different. 

His eyes are dark and his arms are crossed. He’s closed off, distant. Reggie wants to ask-  _ did something happen when you went to see your parents the other day? Are you sure that Alex is the one you're upset with?  _ But Reggie’s learned to keep quiet at times like these. He’s learned to press himself into corners and inch his way out of the line of fire. Anger is the easiest emotion to redirect- Reggie knows that from firsthand experience. 

When Alex pops in Reggie braces himself. Alex looks calm. At peace. No wonder he’s been spending so much time with Willie if that’s how he feels afterwards. Reggie can remember a time when Alex would be racked with anxiety before, after and during an outing- now he just looks happy. 

Reggie has half a mind to tell him to poof out while he still can. 

“Alex.” Luke starts. “Where were you yesterday? We were supposed to practice for the open mic night tonight.” 

“I’m here now, let’s practice.” Alex says flippantly, brushing by Luke to get to his drum set. But Luke catches his wrist, spinning him around. 

“We can’t, Julie isn’t here.” 

Reggie can see the moment that Alex catches on to Luke's mood. He straightens a little, standing taller as if height would diffuse the fire burning in Luke. 

"Okay so what do you want me to do about it?" Alex snaps. "If she's not here and we can't practice without her then why are you even upset? I missed one practice- let it  _ go."  _

"You missed-" Luke repeats in disbelief. "Yeah you missed one practice. The one practice before a jig. What kind of  _ dedicated  _ bandmate would do that?" 

"Hold on," Alex throws his hands up. "Luke, I  _ told  _ you that I was going to look for Willie. I  _ said  _ that. You shouldn't be shocked that when I  _ found  _ him I wanted to spend some time with him." 

"I'm not! What I'm surprised about is that you blew off a practice instead of just making a plan to meet up!" Luke yells suddenly, making Reggie flinch. "We've got a gig tonight and we  _ promised  _ we weren't going to let Julie down again, remember?"

Alex's eyes narrow, going cold. "I remember. But this band isn't my whole life." 

Luke jerks back. "What the hell is  _ that  _ supposed to mean?" 

"It means that I have  _ other  _ things that are important to me-" 

"-Alex, we're ghosts solely for the purpose of playing the music we never got to! How is anything else more important than this?" 

Reggie inhales shakily, taking a step forward. "Guys, I think you should-" 

" _ No _ !" Alex snaps, briefly turning to Reggie. Reggie flinches backwards minutely, wary of his thrown out hands. "Luke, we died when we were  _ seventeen.  _ There was so much that I wanted to do! Are you telling me that you can't see beyond your tunnel vision for  _ one second  _ to see from my perspective?" 

Luke is quiet, letting the words hang in the air for a moment. Alex pauses, sensing his misstep. When he speaks next, his voice is cold, hard. "Alex, you know for a fact that there are things that I wish I could've done that have  _ nothing _ to do with music." 

Reggie holds his breath as the silence falls between the two of them again. Alex's face jumps through an array of emotions- guilt, sadness, pity- before it becomes blank. 

"Guys, I think we should just  _ talk _ about this-" Reggie tries again, his voice trembling, but Luke turns away, scoffing. 

"No, you know what, whatever." He says, brushing Reggie off. "You want to go AWOL before a performance? Be my guest. You know where I'll be when you decide to start being a part of the band." 

Alex splutters but Luke's gone before he can find something to say in retaliation. Alex inhales sharply but when Reggie steps up to comfort him, Alex just pops out- leaving Reggie alone in the studio, years and years of arguments echoing in his ears. 

He takes a stuttering breath and realizes he's shaking- on the brink of a panic attack. He doesn't- he has nowhere to go. Usually Alex will take one look at him and lead him through grounding exercises or Luke will press close, squeeze him till he's not shaking, till he's not breaking apart in their hands. 

But he doesn't have them anymore. And he can't bother Julie when she's at school. 

He's alone. 

In his blind panic and desperation, he teleports to the nearest place of comfort he can think of. Unsurprisingly he ends up in the Molina's living room, watching as Ray unassumingly clicks through his computer. 

Reggie pauses, then collapses into the chair next to him, choking a little. "I'm sorry- I know-" he heaves a breath, "-I know I'm not supposed to be here but- but I don't have anywhere else to go." 

Ray stays quiet, his eyes fixed on the screen. He can't hear Reggie and it's not his fault but Reggie can't help thinking of his parents. He can't help thinking of long nights hiding in the bathroom because that was the only place where the arguments were muffled. 

He can't help but think of the wayward hands and arms and elbows, the resulting bruises and accidental welts, the way his cries and pleas for them to-  _ stop fighting, just talk, please, just talk to each other-  _ were ignored. 

Reggie struggles to get his breathing under control, struggles to not break down into tears because hanging out with Ray is supposed to be calming. It's supposed to be all the things that a childhood in his home was not. 

He wasn't supposed to be alone this time. 

But all he can feel is guilt because here he is, messing something up  _ again,  _ getting in the way  _ again,  _ losing his family  _ again.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( reggie.....my boy.....


	5. We all make mistakes, but they're just stepping stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey Orsito," She greets softly, shutting the door behind her. He jerks up, swiping a hand across his face quickly, as if he could hide the shiny wetness from her. 
> 
> "Julie, I- uh- I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be in here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ONLY thing I'm saying before this is: reggie and julie sibling superiority!

Normally if Carrie was skipping out on a performance, there was a reason. Like, it took a  _ lot  _ for her to decide she wasn't going to perform. The last time she missed a gig was when her mother died but after that she just  _ threw  _ herself into Dirty Candy like it was her lifeline. 

Cindy knew that making Dirty Candy into the best that it could be was Carrie's way of coping after her loss but not performing  _ optionally?  _

"What if her dad is sick?" Kitty asks. "Like  _ terminally _ ?" 

"She'd tell us." Cindy says shortly. 

"But  _ would  _ she?" 

"Uh, yeah, she'd probably keep that to herself." Patricia picks at the sequins on her outfit nervously. "I mean, I don't know, I would too." 

Kitty frowns, almost a pout. "You wouldn't tell us? I'd tell you all." 

"Kitty, you tell everyone everything." Karla sighs. She bends down to touch her toes and then reaches up to the sky. "That stuff is personal. We're close- we're friends, but sometimes people need to keep things to themselves." 

"But something that serious?" Kitty insists. "I feel like she should let us know. So we can support her." 

"We  _ are  _ supporting her." Cindy cuts in, gently nudging Patricia to stop picking the sparkles off her uniform. If she let Patty keep it up, she'd have no shine by the time they get on stage. "She asked us to perform, to have fun. She'll tell us about what's going on whenever she's ready." 

Jo runs in then, charged with nervous energy, stopping their conversation. "Are you guys ready? We're on in five!" 

…

Julie doesn't know  _ how  _ she knows this, but something isn't right. 

Not only with Nick- who she spent the whole afternoon writing a song with- not only with Carrie- who actually managed to make Flynn full on  _ laugh  _ during their class- but also with her own band. 

Luke was stoic, quiet. He wasn't even making casual observations on the other people performing- he was just watching, seemingly lost in thought. Alex was fidgety- arms crossing and uncrossing, eyes shifting, mouth downturned. He looked guilty, or just upset. 

But Julie was more worried about Reggie. 

First off, he was quiet, which he  _ never  _ was. 

Julie's Reggie was a bundle of talkative moving ghost limbs. He was funny and loud and annoying in the way that Julie always imagined a brother her age would be. In the way that Julie loved him to be. 

Second off, he's been keeping away from Luke and Alex from the time Julie got home to the time she met up with them at the auditorium- tuning his bass in the corner, watching the DCs with rapt attention- it was weird. Usually she couldn't  _ pry  _ the boys apart from one another because Luke and Alex were almost always leaning up against Reggie or keeping him tucked close. 

Something must've happened while she was at school and whatever it was must've really gotten to Reggie. They went on soon but she had to do  _ something  _ because she hated seeing him so disheartened, so distant, so lost in his own head. 

She finds him leaning against the backstage wall alone, fiddling with the ropes. When he hears her coming he doesn't look up. 

"Reg," She starts softly. "Is everything alright? You seem...I don't know, not okay?" 

Reggie runs his fingers along the ropes, not meeting her eyes. "Jules, what do you do when the promise of family isn't enough?" 

Julie stops short, the breath leaving her. "Wha- Reggie, what?" 

He reaches a hand to a taunt curtain rope. Plucks it like it's a bass string. "I guess I can kind of see the appeal to Caleb's ghost club. A place where you can play music and have fun and have no one ever leave you. I know it's not as fun as it seems but- I don't know- sometimes I wish life was like that." 

Julie's mouth falls open. She wants to grab him. Grab him and shake him and yell  _ don't you dare say that, don't you ever, what about me? What about what we built? _

And she would have if the Dirty Candy girls weren't walking off stage that moment, and if it wasn't their turn to go on. Reggie poofs away, into position and Julie has to shake out her hands to calm herself. 

...

Their performance reflects the way they feel- it's disjointed, a little muddled and very confused. 

Alex either hits the drums a little  _ too  _ hard or doesn't hit them hard enough. Luke looks to call Reggie to his mic but Reggie doesn't see it and continues thrumming listlessly, looking like he's just going through the motions. 

Honestly, Julie can  _ feel  _ it on the stage. That melodic sound that normally fills her up inside, the power that normally bursts from her toes to her curls is missing. Their  _ souls  _ aren't in the song and she can tell. 

When they end, the audience cheers and the boys pop away, leaving Julie alone on stage. She bows and hurries down, wanting to find Reggie and at least figure out what's going on but Flynn stops her with praise and then- 

"Julie, Julie,  _ Julie-"  _ She says, lightning quick like she can't get over it, " _ Look."  _

Flynn spins her around and-  _ oh.  _

On the stage, alone, with a single spotlight and an acoustic guitar, is Carrie. She's sitting on a stool and adjusting her microphone so she can sit and play. The rest of the Dirty Candy girls are watching from the very front row, their eyes wide and jaws basically on the floor. 

"Is she about to-" 

"I think she  _ is."  _ Flynn answers, sounding excited. 

"Um- hi." Carrie says into the mic. If Julie didn't know any better she'd say that she sounds nervous. "I'm up here by myself because- well, someone wanted me to try something new. Something different. No glitter, no sparkles, no lights- just something real from my heart. I hope you enjoy it." 

There’s no other instruments, just Carrie’s fingers on the frets and the twang of the guitar pick on the strings. It’s slow and thoughtful, almost introspective. When Carrie begins to sing it sounds almost like a confession- like she’s putting her heart on display. 

Julie smiles, it sounds like the Carrie that she used to love. 

_ I’ve always put on a show  _

_ Giving the shine and the glow,  _

_ But inside i’ve been missing.  _

_ This song is me reminiscing,  _

_ Looking back to find the me i was before _

_ I want to relearn to sing in the rain, dance on the seashore _

_ I’m coming back, better than before _

_ I’m growing wings, i’ll learn to soar _

_ I’m going back to the past  _

_ To become the me that made me laugh _

It's a beautiful song and a beautiful performance- simple and tasteful and everything that Carrie isn't known for. 

"Something from her heart." Flynn hums quietly. " _ Looking back to find the me I was before.  _ Huh. Interesting." 

Julie nods. That  _ is  _ interesting and she's sure that Flynn has  _ many  _ thoughts on it that she'd like to share but Julie's mind is very preoccupied with her boys.  So she tells Flynn, _bye thanks for coming,_ and that they'll _talk tomorrow at length about Carrie because what the fuck,_ and she hightails it out of there to find out what is going on and how quickly can she fix it.

...

When she gets home she knows without checking that Luke and Alex are in the studio. And yeah, she's worried about them, but Reggie is what's important here. The words  _ a place where you can play music and have fun and no one ever leaves you  _ keeps ringing through her head and no matter how hard she tries she can't get them out. 

So she's not even mad when she finds him in her room, curled up at the foot of her bed, leather jacket traded for his flannel, looking worn out. 

"Hey  _ Orsito,"  _ She greets softly, shutting the door behind her. He jerks up, swiping a hand across his face quickly, as if he could hide the shiny wetness from her. 

"Julie, I- uh- I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be in here." 

She hums and sits down next to him. "S'okay. Tough performance tonight huh?" 

He nods slowly, relaxing hesitantly. "Yeah, I guess. Is- well, is Luke upset?"

Julie frowns. "I don't know. I came to check on you first. You seemed to have a lot on your mind before we went on. Did you want to talk about any of it? I'm always here to listen." 

Reggie shifts, tugging at his sleeves nervously. "Luke and Alex got into a fight earlier today." He admits quietly. 

"A fight?" 

"Yeah," Reggie twisted the one cuff tight tight tight and then let it go, leaving only the wrinkles behind. "It was over the practice Alex missed but- I don't know, some other things were said and I'm worried. I don't-" He pauses, cutting himself off by harshly biting at his lip. 

"Don't what?" She prompts softly. 

He avoids her eyes. "I don't want to lose the family I just got. I don't want to be alone again." 

Julie inhales sharply. She watches, half in shock, as Reggie presses his palms to his eyes in an attempt to keep back the tears. Hearing him take a shaky breath- like he just admitted to something heinous, like a weight just fell off his shoulders- makes Julie reach over and pull him into a hug. 

He stiffens in surprise but Julie  _ knew  _ that her hands would find him. The well of emotion and  _ pain  _ that she feels from him is too strong to not come through in her hands. 

"Reggie," She says, then stops. She doesn't know what else to say. She doesn't have the words. "I'm so sorry. I'm  _ so sorry,  _ that was probably fucking terrifying. Especially not being able to talk about it until now. I'm sorry that you had to keep that inside. That no one was there to listen to you." 

Reggie breathes funny against her shoulder, then curls his arms around her, burying his face into her neck. He shudders in her arms and Julie just holds him tighter. 

" _ Va a estar bien _ . Reggie, it's going to be alright." She promises. "No one is leaving. No one is leaving you. It's going to be alright." 

He shakes once, twice, and then Julie hears him start to cry. She runs his back slowly, hoping she's offering at least a little bit of comfort. 

A memory comes to her suddenly. Julie, young and frightened by a nightmare, curled up in her mother's warm embrace as she sings. Even though everything felt terrifying, her mother's touch and gentle voice were grounding and made her feel safe. 

Julie starts singing, a little  _ luna lunera, cascabelera, ve y dile a mi amorcito, por dios, que me quiera,  _ and Reggie's breath hitches, his sobs slowing to a stop. She keeps singing though, rocking them both gently. 

She gets what Luke means about touching them being like coming home. Because it  _ was.  _ Reggie was warm like summer even when he was upset. It was the way she felt when she woke up early in the morning and was able to catch the sunrise- golden and bright. She hopes her touch is as comforting to him as he is to her. 

Her humming trails off and Reggie shifts, pulling back slowly. She watches him go with cautious eyes. 

"Thank you Julie," he says, his voice stuffy, "I guess I didn't realize how much I needed to cry." 

" _ Por supuesto _ , anything for you  _ Hermano."  _ She reaches up and brushes some of the hair out of his eyes just because she can. "You- um- you didn't mean what you said before the performance right? About the club?" 

Reggie's brow furrows but then realization crosses over his face. "Oh God, Jules,  _ no.  _ I'd never- I was just-" 

"Hurting." Julie finishes, breathing out a sigh of relief. She's so relieved that she pulls him in for another hug, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. "Good. I don't know what I do if-" She can't finish but Reggie seems to understand because his hold on her tightens. "You're my family Reggie. You're Luke and Alex's family. And I know they're kicking themselves right now for hurting you. And if not, oh, they  _ will  _ be." 

…

Alex fiddles with his drumsticks anxiously, sneaking glances over to the other side of the room where Luke is staring down at the grand piano keys with an unreadable expression. 

He  _ hates  _ this. 

He hates fighting with Luke, he hates not being able to read how he's feeling, he hates this oppressive, uncomfortable silence because being with his band is always comfortable and  _ easy.  _

After Alex came out,  _ everything  _ was tense. There was never a moment in his house where he could just enjoy himself. He couldn't even sit in his own bedroom without feeling distant and unwanted from his family. But the band was  _ never  _ like that. After he came out to them, if anything they just got  _ more  _ loving and relaxed. 

Fighting with Luke, being distant from Reggie? It was just like being back stuck in a house where no one wanted him. 

"Are you okay?" 

Alex looks up to see Luke standing there, jaw set, avoiding his eyes, still unreadable. 

"What?" Alex croaks. 

Luke inhales slow and half gestures to Alex's hands. "You're doing the thing that you do when you're anxious. The Not good thing." 

Alex looks down, blinking. He was curling his hands into fists and digging his nails into his palm. And yeah, Luke was right. That  _ is  _ the Not Good thing that he's not supposed to do. 

"Oh. Sorry." 

Luke's face goes weird for a moment. Pained. He blows out a breath. "Don't apologize." 

"Okay. My bad." 

Now  _ Luke  _ curls his hands into little fists. But he doesn't look angry, he just looks upset. "I'm not supposed to be doing this." 

"Doing what?"

"Making you anxious." Luke frowns. He hesitates, then finally meets Alex's eyes. "Can I sit?" 

Alex blinks, thrown. Alex honestly can't remember the last time Luke  _ asked  _ to get into their space. He was always yanking them close or sitting half on top of them. So much so that the two of them just started doing it to him and to each other. It was never a question- it just  _ was.  _ "Uh, yeah." 

He sits down gingerly, way too far away by Luke standards. "I don't like fighting." He says simply, looking down at his hands. "Especially not with family." 

And yeah, Luke didn't have to tell Alex twice. He remembers the long nights back when they were alive that Luke would spend agonizing over whether running away was the right decision- the slow mornings now that they're dead where he'd be gone all day and they'd know exactly where he'd been. 

"Me neither." 

Luke looks up, searching Alex's face. He takes another breath and shifts closer so their knees are touching. Alex feels some of that leftover tension in his shoulders relax. That's more like it. 

"I guess I just don't get it." Luke admits. "I mean, the only thing I  _ have  _ is the music. The only thing I had when we were alive was the music. I just- I sometimes forget that it's not as important to everyone else as it is to me." 

"Luke, the music is important to me too-" 

Luke shakes his head. "No, no, I  _ know.  _ Alex, I know. I didn't mean to- I just- I don't know." 

Alex is quiet for a moment. "Okay this is the way I can explain it." Luke nods, listening intently, trying to understand. "Back when we were alive I couldn't really be myself. I could never relax. I was just so aware of myself all the time- the way I was talking or walking or sitting. I didn't want to be different." 

Luke shifts closer when Alex falters, putting a supportive hand on his knee. 

"But now," Alex continues, having gathered himself, "now, I can be whoever I want because no one is watching me. And the people that  _ can  _ see me- well, I already know they love me. So it's like I can finally breathe." 

"Oh." Luke says. " Oh, Alex I- I didn't realize. I'm so fucking sorry man." 

"S'okay." Alex shrugs. And he means it. It's over. "I shouldn't have said that thing about the tunnel vision. That was fucked up." 

Luke winces. "A little. But you weren't wrong. I could've tried to look at it from your point of view." 

"And I could've looked at it from yours." Alex argues. "I mean, you were right. We promised not to let Julie down again." 

Luke opens his mouth to respond, then pauses. "Are we arguing about who was more wrong?" 

Alex blinks. "I- I think we are." He laughs. 

Luke chuckles and throws an arm around Alex's shoulders, tugging him close. Alex goes easily, letting Luke koala bear squeeze him to death. 

"I hate fighting with you." Alex hears Luke admit into his shoulder. "It's the worst."

"We were all screwed up on stage too." Alex sighs. 

Luke pulls away, his face suddenly serious. "Dude, I don't care about that performance.  _ We  _ were screwed up." He emphasizes, gesturing between the two of them. " _ That  _ is what matters most to me." 

Alex grins. "Okay fine, but  _ someone  _ has to care about the fate of this band. I guess I'm going to have to do your job for you." 

Luke snorts and then stands. "I'd love to see you play the guitar the way I do."

"As if you could last even ten minutes on the drums." 

"All you do is hit circles Alex," Luke says, age old banter basically muscle memory at this point. "A kindergartener can hit circles." 

"Kindergarteners know how to keep their sleeves on." 

Luke's mouth drops open in delighted shock and Alex grins, feeling satisfied. He's almost a hundred percent sure Luke is about to fire back with something equally revealing but then the studio doors open. 

"Jules-" Luke starts, but then he must notice the fierce look on her face because he wisely shuts up. 

"You guys make up yet?" She snaps and doesn't wait for an answer. "Good. I'm glad. Now, while you guys were arguing, who did you forget about-" 

_ Fuck.  _

"Reg." Alex says weakly. "Reggie." 

Luke goes white. "Oh shit. Oh no-" 

Julie squints, and then must determine that they look properly upset and are taking this seriously because some of her anger dissipates. "You guys better make it up to him. You know what he told me? He told me he could see the appeal in Caleb's club- he was just hurting, he didn't mean it but  _ fuck _ guys. That is  _ so  _ not okay." 

Alex blanches and turns to Luke. "What are we gonna-" 

"I've got it." He says suddenly. "I know how to help." 

…

Julie was nice, letting Reggie burrow under her covers and stay in her room even though boundaries was basically her only rule. 

And he  _ could  _ just go down to the studio, it wasn't too big a deal. Reggie's faced worse. Logically, he knew, Luke and Alex were just miscommunicating right now and they'd figure it out eventually. 

But sitting down there, caught in the middle of their tension, having to watch them disregard each other for even a  _ second  _ made Reggie feel physically ill. Up in Julie's room it was safe, no one was upset and plus, Julie's bed was soft and smelled like her. Lavender and lemon, calming and clean. 

He's about to fall asleep in said bed, definitely breaking her one rule, when there's a knock at the door and Julie peeks inside. 

"Reg, hey." She says softly. "Alex and Luke wanted to say something- do you want to hear it? You can say no, they'd understand." 

Reggie sits up and nods, keeping his breathing slow. Julie smiles and then leaves, shutting the door behind her. It only takes a second for Luke and Alex to pop into the room and they both look nervous. 

"Reggie, man, we shouldn't have been arguing the way we were." Luke starts. "It was a misunderstanding that we could've just  _ talked  _ about." 

"Yeah," Alex cuts in, nodding in agreement. "And we definitely shouldn't have brushed you off when you tried to get us to listen to one another." 

Reggie nods slowly, bunching his hands into Julie's blankets. "It's okay." 

"No." Luke shakes his head firmly. "No Reg, it's not. But in the future we can promise to work on it. And...we want to make it up to you." 

Reggie opens his mouth to protest but Alex puts a hand up. "Come on Reg, just- let us do this for you?"

He pauses then nods, sitting back. 

Luke summons his guitar, quickly tunes it. Alex steps back so he's standing next to Luke and clears his throat nervously. 

_ home, what is it really? _

Reggie's eyes widen. That's his song. The country song that he wrote even though he knew they'd never perform it. His first draft was a joke, just an excuse to stretch his writing legs but it quickly evolved into something deeper. More real. 

A song about his family, but not his blood family, his  _ real  _ family. 

_ sometimes it's a someone and not a place, _

_ it's that feeling of being safe _

_ it's about who you're with at the end of the day _

They both pause in singing, looking to him expectantly, hoping he'll join in. Luke keeps strumming as Alex steps forward, offering a hand. 

"Come on Reg," His voice is soft, apologetic, stuffed full of love. 

Reggie chuckles wetly and takes Alex's hand, letting himself be pulled to his feet. Luke steps closer and strums louder, closing their little triangle. Reggie closes his eyes and sings. 

_ and for me- home is where my horse is _

_ riding through the trees by the river, _

_ feel that summer breeze, the smile getting bigger _

_ home is where my horse is _

_ don't need a house or a roof,  _

_ I just lace up my saddle, lace up my boots  _

_ cause home is where my horse is _

Luke plays them off, letting the song come to a slow stop with a couple of notes. 

"Reggie," Alex says, breaking the gentle quiet. "You're family. There isn't any argument or disagreement that could  _ ever  _ change that-  _ ever. _ " 

"I believe you." Reggie says honestly. 

A big grin splits over Luke's face and he practically tackles Reggie. "Band hug! Band hug!" 

Reggie instantly wraps his arms around Luke, laughing and he feels warm when Alex gets his arms around the both of them. It's warm and safe and it's almost perfect except for the fact that it's missing- 

"Reggie?" Julie calls, opening the door slowly, peeking through the crack. "Do I need to dispel some ghost boys or is everything all good?" 

"Dis _ pel?"  _ Alex blinks. 

"Everything's okay Jules." Reggie says. "Well, except for the fact that you're all the way over there." 

Relief breaks out over her face and she wiggles her way under Alex's arm with a happy sigh. She curls a hand into Luke's tee and finds Reggie's hand. 

"I'm glad you guys made up- no more arguing okay?" She pauses then, "And if you guys  _ ever  _ hurt Reggie again I will literally perform a seance  _ myself  _ to get rid of you,  _ entender?" _

"Yes ma'am." Luke and Alex yelp. 

Reggie grins, tucking his face into Julie's curls. Ah, family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone say thank u to Jeremy shada for writing home is where your horse is so I didn't have to 😌 literally ALL of my drafts of that song were terrible <3 thank u sir for doing all the heavy lifting 
> 
> also also, yes I'm giving the DCs personality, I think it's fun!! ❣ they're all so cute and colorful!


	6. Coming out like we're fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I just- I didn't use to be like this." She says. 
> 
> Cindy frowns. "What do you mean?"
> 
> "I wasn't always the mean girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> edit: so somehow I accidentally left out Julie's little conversation w/ alex and Luke the first time I posted this 😣 how embarrassing. anyway, if you're rereading then oop! new content I guess diwodkdkdk

Alex doesn't think his heart is gonna stop skipping a beat everytime he sees Willie. 

It's like the simple sight of his face sends Alex into a tailspin- making his blood run and his breath hitch. Just hearing his voice makes Alex want to vibrate out of his skin but in a _good_ way. 

Willie's smiling but it's nervous and he's got his hair pulled back like he's worried about making a good impression. 

"Hey hotdog," he greets. "Should I have brought flowers?" 

Alex flushes. "Uh, if you wanted to? I'm not really a flower person but-"

Willie laughs and the sound is full and boisterous. "No, no I meant for Julie. You know- good impression. This is like me meeting your sister or something." 

"Oh," Alex blinks, then he smiles. "Yeah, I guess it is. You already met my other family- Julie is the last one left." 

Willie steps closer, bumping their shoulders together, grinning like he's got a secret. "But now I know- you're not a flower person- I will definitely keep that in mind." 

Alex flushes and in a rare spot of bravery, links their hands together and squeezes. Willie doesn't even hesitate to squeeze back, his secret grin growing. 

Alex pulls him in, through the studio doors and awkwardly throws out a hand, suddenly a little nervous. "Well, here's the studio, and there's-" 

"Willie!" Reggie cheers, jumping up from the grand piano seat coming over to greet him. Willie greets him with a little handshake, fist bump that makes Alex feel warm. 

He looks back over at Julie and Luke, who are both still sitting next to the piano, heads close together but not touching. She looks up and her eyes instantly find Willie. 

"Ah, so this is the famous Willie." She says, standing, stepping closer. "I've heard a lot about you." 

"All good things I hope." Willie chuckles, a note of nerves clear in his voice. 

Julie must hear it because her face softens. "You make Alex happy, that's good enough for me." 

Alex smiles and squeezes Willie's hand again, causing Willie's cheeks to color. Julie watches them with a happy look, eyes soft, smile warm, but then her expression shifts, her eyes hardening, her brows furrowing. 

"Willie, I'm gonna say this once-" She starts and Willie snaps to attention. "If you _ever_ hurt Alex, I will figure out a way to get rid of ghosts. Trust me." 

Willie blinks, nods once. "I- I wouldn't hurt him- Uh- ma'am, I promise you that." 

Julie's face stays steel for another second before melting into a cherry smile. "Cool! Well, come on, tell me about yourself and how you and Alex met- he _refuses_ to tell me. I love meeting stories-"

She turns away, continuing to talk and Alex notices Willie let out a breath of relief. He bites back a smile. 

"You never said your sister was scary." Willie whispers and Alex laughs, then tugs him to follow her. 

...

Carrie isn't shocked at all when her doorbell rings and it's Cindy and Kitty standing on her doorstep. 

She opens the door and- 

"Oh my god, Carrie, are you alright? Are you hurt? Is your dad okay? Is-" 

Cindy sighs. "She insisted on coming with." 

Carrie nods once and reaches over to pat Kitty's shoulder. "Ah. Breathe honey, I'm alright, I promise. And my dad is alright."

Kitty takes a deep breath, holds it and then lets it out slow. Cindy watches with an approving look. 

"Come inside," Carrie says, opening the door wider. "I'm sure you have questions." 

"Understatement." Cindy says as she walks by. 

Once they're settled on the couch, Carrie folds her hands together, nervous but hiding it. "What questions do you have?” 

Cindy looks at Kitty, half expecting her to begin bursting like before, but she stays quiet, most likely put at ease after hearing that everyone in Carrie’s family was alright.

“Okay, well, why didn't you want to perform with Dirty Candy?" Cindy asks. It's the question that's been burning her up since she finished watching Carrie sing yesterday. "I mean, did you want to become a solo act? Did you not want to be with us anymore?" 

Carrie's eyes widen. "Oh. Oh Cindy, no. No, I just- I needed to do that. For myself." 

Some of the guarded hurt fades from Cindy's expression and Kitty scoots forward, placing a gentle hand on Carrie's knee and Carrie feels something unlatch in her chest. These are her girls- her family. Kitty plays with Carrie's baby cousin when her extended family visits and Cindy held her hand at her mom's funeral, soothing her in her grief. 

Dirty Candy was fun, was full of sparkles and beauty and glam, but it was also Carrie's family. These were her sisters. If there was anyone that would stand by her as she tried to find herself, it would be them. 

"I just- I didn't use to be like this." She says. 

Cindy frowns. "What do you mean?"

"I wasn't always the _mean_ girl." Kitty opens her mouth, probably to insist, _you're not mean! you're so nice,_ but Carrie doesn't let her. "I mean, Nick broke up with me because he didn't even recognize who I am anymore. And if I'm honest, I don't even recognize me anymore." 

"You want to go back to the you that made you laugh." Cindy says simply and Carrie feels relief wash over her. Of _course,_ she'd get it, it's crazy that Carrie thought she wouldn't. 

"Yeah," Carrie nods. "Yeah." 

"Well, we're here for you." Kitty pats Carrie's knee just like Carrie patted her earlier and she feels an intense wave of affection. "All of us. You're our sister Care-bear. You just need to let us know how to help."

"Thanks Kitty-kat." 

"So what's your first step in the Finding Carrie Wilson plan?" Cindy asks, a determined look on her face. 

Carrie tucks her hand behind her ear. She's been thinking hard about this. Since talking to Flynn in class and having Nick basically ghost her at school, she's realized that her first step in going back to herself needs to be mending the rifts that she's made. 

"I have to apologize to Nick and Julie and Flynn." 

"Oh! You want to become friends with them again!" Kitty grins. "That's good!"

Cindy pouts a little bit. "Does this mean that we can't beat their band into the ground?" 

Carrie laughs. "Oh don't worry, we'll still be the best on the stage. But off of the stage, I don't know, hopefully we can all be friendly." 

Cindy's pout lifts and she cracks a smile. 

…

Reggie likes Willie a lot. 

He's fun and interesting and knows a lot about the things that the three of them don't- namely, the ghost world but also all the pop culture that they missed while they were 'dead'. He skates and has cool ghost powers and most importantly, he makes Alex smile. 

And when Alex smiles it's so bright that it's basically like the sun splits across his face. So anytime there is something that can make that happen, Reggie's all for it. 

But after a while, and by no fault of his friends, they pair off. Luke and Julie start riffing off of each other, becoming the magical powerhouse team of songwriters that many artists _wish_ they could be and Alex offers to show Willie his drums- to teach him some tricks. Reggie halfheartedly watches for a little before poofing out. 

The first thing he sees when he poofs into the house is Carlos, at the counter making a sandwich. He grins then walks over and nudges the jar of peanut butter across the counter.

Carlos gasps, then looks around as if he could see ghosts. "Who's there?"

Reggie reaches over for a piece of paper and a pencil. _It's Reggie, hi, what are you doing?_

"Reggie!" Carlos grins excitedly. "I'm making a sandwich." His smile dims a little bit. "And then I have to do homework." 

_for what class?_

"Math." Carlos groaned. "I don't like math. I like science and english, but I can't stand math." 

_do you want some help? I'd say that I'm pretty good at math._

"You'd help me?" Carlos asks, blinking. "Don't you have...ghost band things to do?" 

Reggie frowns and nearly begins speaking out loud in his surprise, but remembers to stop himself and start writing instead. 

_if you needed help, I'd always be willing to give it- think of me as your personal homework helper ghost! except for english, you should definitely go to Julie for that subject_

Carlos reads it and then his smile gets bigger. "Don't worry Reg, I'm great at english. And thanks! You're like the big brother I never had- who's dead." 

Reggie blinks. Then he smiles, a gentle warmth settling over him. _if you go get it now we can have it finished before your dad comes home!_

Carlos nods and rushes up the stairs, newly excited to get started on his homework. Reggie watches him go with a warm look. He always wanted a younger sibling when he was alive- but he wouldn't wish his homelife on anyone, especially not someone he was related to. 

"Reg." Julie calls. He turns, his eyes wide, feeling like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

"Oh, uh, hey Jules." 

She leans against the counter and looks at him with a half smile and she doesn't seem upset but- 

"I know I'm not supposed to be-" 

Julie shakes her head, causing her curls to fly a little. "Reggie, you're okay. I was just worried about you. You know, I noticed you slip away. And besides, Carlos already knows about you guys. He's annoyingly smart." 

"I'm okay. Carlos needed help with his homework." Reggie says. "Math." He adds on, even though she definitely already knows given the fact that she's probably had to help Carlos before. 

Julie's eyes flicker over his face, clearly searching for something. "You're sure you're okay though?" 

"Yeah," Reggie says, and he means it. "I am." 

She pauses and then nods. "Okay _hermano,_ just know you can always talk to me. And also, do _not_ let Carlos pull any tricks. One time he got me to do his entire worksheet for him- do not fall for his big eyes." 

Reggie raises his hand. "I give you my scout's honor. I won't do his homework for him." 

Julie squints. "Were you in the scouts?"

"...yes." 

She makes her patented _I can't believe my life was invaded by ghosts and that I love them so much I'll let their insanity slide_ face and Reggie grins big. 

…

The idea comes to her once Willie leaves and Luke is half leaning on her, tired from all the social interaction. She rubs at his arm, smiling indulgently. 

Luke is a livewire, sparking with energy and jumping around like a lightning bolt, but once he's tired, he becomes slow and lethargic, leaning on the closest person he can find. Julie is glad that she's gotten a hold of what makes her boys tangible to her. That feeling of family and intense love that overtakes her sometimes- when they were flickering after the Orpheum performance, when Luke gave her the space she needed to talk about Carrie, when Reggie needed her help the other day. 

They mean so much to her, just as much as Flynn or Carlos or her father does, and she can't imagine her life without them. And that's when she makes the decision. 

"I'm going to tell my dad tonight." 

Alex, who's sitting on the floor sorting through the records that Julie's mom used to collect, looks up. His eyes are wide. Luke sits up, also giving her the same confused look. 

"Tell your dad?" Alex repeats. "About us?" 

"Yes." She says, her mind made up. She stands abruptly and Luke blinks at her exhaustedly. "I'm doing it now." 

Alex chokes and scrambles to his feet. "You're doing it  _ now?"  _

"Yes." 

He follows her out of the studio doors, Luke trailing them. Unfortunately, Alex's legs are longer than hers and he gets in front of her, putting his hands up like  _ wait.  _

"Julie, wait, okay, explain what's going on." He says. "I mean, this is pretty out of the blue. What's going on?" 

"You guys are my family. You guys are a part of me. I shouldn't sneak around and hide you guys and lie when I have no real reason to." She explains. "And besides, I know that Reggie misses hanging out with Ray. I don't want to take that away from him." 

Alex's expression softens. "Okay, but Julie, this is  _ your  _ life- I mean, how do you know that he'll believe you? That he'll still...I don't know- see you the same?" 

Julie blinks.

Then the image of a nervous, anxious Alex coming out to his family comes into her mind. The thought of him sharing the deepest, most vulnerable part of himself with the people who should have loved him unconditionally only to be betrayed,  _ hurts  _ Julie. 

No wonder he's apprehensive. No wonder he's protective. 

"Alex, I trust my dad." She says firmly. "He loves me and I know there's nothing I could say that would ever change that. Now, he might not believe me about you guys being ghosts but I'm willing to take that chance." 

"For Reggie?" 

"For Reggie." She confirms. 

"Julie Molina, you are the most insane girl I've ever met." Alex huffs, smiling weakly. 

Luke hooks an arm around Alex's shoulders, making him tilt to the side a little. "Isn't she awesome?" He asks sleepily. 

Alex gently shoves him off and Julie laughs. 

...

Reggie doesn't look up when Julie walks in. He's too busy writing notes, talking to Carlos as they watch a video about ghost hunting. 

Reggie thinks that Carlos' interest in the supernatural is one of the cutest things he's ever seen. Reggie used to be like that- but about much less cool things like trains or baseball. Being an only child, he never had someone to indulge him about his interests. It's clear that Carlos doesn't have to deal with that because his _tia_ was more than willing to talk to him about his ghost sightings, but still. 

He's thinking that maybe he'll organize a mini ghost hunt so Carlos can put his skills to use. It'll be like a large, magic game of hide and seek. He's sure Julie would love the idea. 

"Hi Carlos," Julie says as she walks by and she's walking like she's on a mission. Alex and Luke are following, and Reggie frowns. 

"What's going on?" 

"Julie is fantastic, that's what." Luke says, a soft lovesick smile on his face. 

Alex shifts nervously, full of tension and that's what makes Reggie stand. He writes _be right back_ to Carlos before going after Julie. 

"Dad," He hears her say, "can we talk?" 

Ray, who is chopping carrots at the kitchen counter, stops and puts down his knife. He turns, giving his daughter all his attention. 

"Yeah _mija_? Is everything alright?" 

Julie opens her mouth and then closes it, clearly unsure about whatever she wants to say. But then she catches Reggie's eye and seems to steel herself. 

"You know the boys in my band?" She asks and Reggie's heart stops. "The holograms? Well, they're not holograms." 

Ray frowns. "Not holograms? What do you mean?" 

"They're ghosts. I can see them all the time but other people can only see them when we play music." She explains. "That's why they pop in when we play music. I honestly don't know anything about holograms." 

Ray is quiet for a moment. "Julie...is this a prank? _una broma?_ Are you messing with me?" 

Julie's eyes flicker to Alex, who's got his hands curled around the back of the kitchen chair nervously. "Uh, no _papi._ I'm serious." 

"She's right." Carlos says, popping his head into the kitchen. "I talked to Reggie today, he helped me with my math homework!" 

"...A ghost...helped you with your math homework?" 

Carlos nods gleefully. 

Reggie winces. He can see when Ray mentally decides that his kids are a few screws loose of a toolbox. Alex must be able to see it too because he steps closer to Julie. 

"Jules, just- just play it off for a joke." He says frantically. "Pretend you were joking." 

Julie sighs. "I can't do that Alex. I stand by what I said." 

"Alex!" Carlos cheers. 

"Alex." Ray deadpans, disbelieving. "You're talking to your ghost friend Alex now?"

Julie falters then her face brightens. She reaches out a hand and curls it around his wrist. They connect and then Ray and Carlos both gasp. 

Alex looks over to Ray, who's watching him with wide, wide eyes. "Uh, hi sir." 

"I- hi." He chokes. "It's nice to finally meet you." 

"Nice to meet you too." Alex relaxes visibly. Then Luke slides over, waving lazily. He doesn't reach for Julie's other hand the way that he normally would if they were alone- probably because he was face to face with her father.

"Hi, I'm Luke. I play guitar." 

"Luke…" Ray says, then he hums, thinking back to their past performances. "You're really talented." 

"He is!" Julie jumps in. "We write songs together- he's the brains behind our killer setlists." 

Luke flushes and ducks his head. "I wouldn't be as good at writing if I wasn't writing with you Jules." 

Ray's eyebrows go up. Julie's grin stretches across her face. Carlos coughs, stopping Julie before she gets caught staring in Luke's eyes again. 

"And Reggie!" She says loudly, looking right at him. Reggie steps closer, wringing his hands together. 

"Hi," He says. "I'm Reggie." 

"You helped Carlos with his homework?" 

Reggie nods slowly. 

Ray's face breaks out into a huge grin. " _Ay,_ thank you. Carlos coming to me for math help is hopeless. Once an art kid, always an art kid I guess." 

"But your photography is really good." He blurts and then shuts his mouth quickly. He hadn't meant to say that. He doesn't want to seem _weird._ He knows that the three of them even being in Julie's life breaks all sorts of boundaries- them being in his _house_? That's definitely a line. 

"Oh yeah?" Ray exclaims. He doesn't look mad, he actually looks pretty excited. "You've seen it? Do you have a favorite piece? Because recently-" 

Reggie eases as Ray keeps talking and Julie smiles like she's pleased with herself. Reggie thinks that this- knowing Julie Molina and her family- is the best gift he's ever been given. 


	7. I got your glamour, got your gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But my strong suit is sound. Your band's strong suit is touching lyrics. Just hologram call them- I'm sure they'd love to-"
> 
> "No." Julie says firmly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> evil nick in this chapter 😣

"Should I stay?" 

Julie looks up, jolted from her mental organization process to see Luke. He's leaning against the dining room table with a hopeful grin in his face. Her cheeks redden as she wonders how long he's been standing there, watching her nervously shuffle around books and stationary for her and Nick's project. 

"Um-" She thinks about the way that he teased Nick before their dance and how she _still_ couldn't get him off her mind even as they performed. "It might be best if you didn't _mi perrito._ You know, so I can focus."

Luke pouts a little but nods good-naturedly. He reaches out a hand and Julie slides hers into his neatly. 

"Okay, well Reggie and I are going to look for gigs to sign up for." He says, folding their fingers together. "Alex should be back from his date in time for us to have practice." 

Julie nods. "Okay, just don't forget, we've got the band smash gig so don't schedule anything for that time." 

Luke leans forward, presses a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Okay boss. Have a nice project date."

Julie scrunches her nose. "It's not a date." 

Luke just smiles, pulling away but Julie tugs on his hand insistently. She's serious. She doesn't want to be misconstrued. She knows Luke, knows how he hides little truths inside of his jokes. Most of her ghosts have that habit. 

"Luke. It's not a date." She says firmly. "You're the only person I want to write songs with. Trust me." 

"I trust you sunshine. And I only want to write with you too." His voice is soft, stuffed with adoration. It feels like a confession- at least, Julie hopes it is. 

Julie lets go of Luke's hand, letting him poof away. 

...

Nick arrives only twenty minutes later. 

Normally, Julie would take her time before getting into all the school stuff, enjoying having Nick in her space. She would show him around her studio or go over dance steps in the living room or offer him a snack just as an excuse to spend more time with him. He isn't her crush anymore but she still likes him as a friend. 

Or, she did. Back when Nick actually acted like Nick. 

But he was still...not right. He wasn't the same sweet, funny person that offered Julie his jacket when she had to walk home in the rain or who carried Flynn's books to all her classes when she broke her leg in fifth grade. Julie can't explain it, but something about him was off and it made her squeamish. 

So she just bustled them to the dining room table where she already set up all their papers and her keyboard. She didn't want this writing session to go on longer than it had to. 

"I guess we should start where we left off huh?" She says, flipping to the few notes and chords she scribbled down last class. "We have a couple of bars but-" 

"-why don't we ask your bandmates? I mean, you guys all write your songs together don't you?" Nick interrupts, not even looking down at her book. 

Julie frowns. "Um...well, I don't think we should. I mean, this is a project to work on our skills right? If we had extra help we wouldn't really be learning." 

Nick makes a face but thankfully he drops it. Despite him moving on, Julie can't relax because _something_ is really wrong. She just can't put her finger on what. 

They work for a while longer, making a ton of progress. The skeleton of a song that they have isn't what Julie would consider her best, but she can't say that it's _bad._ It's just really different and completely out of her comfort zone. 

Writing with Luke was easy- when he would start a melody she could finish it or when she penciled down a lyric he could add to it to make it the best it could be. Everything they did together was magic from the moment they started to the moment they stopped. But writing with Nick was like a battle. She would write out a harmony and he would change it; she would offer a lyric and he would rip it apart.

It wasn't like this when they danced together. Back then he was flexible, willing to let her take the lead, willing to be wrong so he could get better. 

Now he was _pushy_. 

They only get half of a song finished before Nick brings it up again. 

"I'm sure that your band would have some good input." He says casually, twirling a pencil between his fingers. Julie tenses. "You guys are pretty talented and their expertise with other instruments could add more to our sound." 

"I don't think we really need to add much else." Julie says slowly, looking down at the stacking instrumentals. "If we add more it might overwhelm the audience." 

Nick raises an eyebrow. "I think that's a good thing."

"It _can_ be good." She qualifies reluctantly. "Usually when I listen to music it's the building momentum that tips me over into feeling emotional. But those moments always come before a quiet pause. That's why they hit so hard. I think we should put more focus into our lyrics."

"We should, you're right." 

Julie blinks, surprised to hear that. She didn't expect him to give in so easily- 

"But my strong suit is sound. Your band's strong suit is touching lyrics. Just hologram call them- I'm sure they'd love to-"

" _No."_ Julie says firmly. 

Nick jerks back, surprised at her tone and she's about to apologize when he surges forward and curls a hand around her wrist. She yelps as he pulls her close, his face twisted and dark and so completely _wrong._

"Julie, _call_ your band." He hisses. " _Now."_

"Nick," Julie gasps, trying to pull free, "you're hurting me, please-" 

He only squeezes tighter and Julie realizes that he's not going to let up, that he's going to try to make her call her band here and that _this isn't Nick._

She moves to action, yanking away and slapping Nick across the face as hard as she can. He stumbles back in shock and for the briefest moment she can see _Nick_ shine through. The Nick she's known for forever: sweet, funny, gentle, easy-going. His eyes, big and blue and _scared._

But it only takes a second for it to snap back to the _Not Nick_ that Julie is afraid of. 

" _Julie-_ " He starts again, his voice angry but Julie doesn't let him finish. She stands, pulling herself to her full height. 

"Get out of my house." She snaps. "Get _out."_

Nick's eyes widen like he's surprised. There's a brief pause before his whole demeanor changes. "Julie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose my temper. We can just write the song ourselves."

"No. Get the hell out." She insists, hoping that he can't hear the way her voice shakes. "I'm not writing anything with you." 

"You don't want to get a zero do you?" He asks patronizingly, fake sweetness dripping from his lips. "If we don't do it, we won't learn the skills."

Julie is so disgusted at hearing her own words parroted back at her from his voice that she nearly falters. 

_Nearly._

"I would rather fail that class and never write another song for as long as I live than write with you, now _get out."_

There's a pause where Julie is scared that he won't listen but Nick stands, brushes himself off in a clearly _non_ Nick way and then shows himself out. 

As soon as the door slams shut Julie sinks down onto the ground, all her fear based adrenaline draining out of her. She's shaking and scared and doesn't know what's wrong with Nick but she _knows_ that it's her fault and that she needs to fix it. She curls her knees up to her chest, ducks her head, and lets herself sob. 

...

Nick opens his eyes and he finds himself standing on the Molina's doorstep. He feels cold, inside and out. He's shivering like he was coming down with something, like he is in the throws of an illness. 

He's got a pounding headache and numb fingers and can't remember  _ yesterday,  _ let alone the last  _ week.  _

The last thing he can remember clearly is wanting to give Julie flowers and that man with the weird glasses- but it's a completely different time of day than before. Something happened to him but he can't remember it. 

He needs help. 

...

Flynn thinks that having Carrie in her space should be more uncomfortable than it is, but honestly, it's just like hanging out with Julie. 

She forgot how much  _ fun  _ Carrie was to work with. She has such big ideas, flashy and bright, and when she gets excited she talks with her hands, waving and gesturing like she can't contain herself. 

"Okay wait, something that rhymes with dream?" She asks. 

Flynn runs through her mental rolodex of words and- "Gleam?" 

Carrie's eyes light up and that and she hurries to scribble it down, her handwriting perfect even though she's rushing. It's in that bit of quiet- where Carrie is absently biting her bottom lip and humming under her breath- that Flynn feels warm down to her toes. 

"I missed you." She says impulsively.

Carrie abruptly stops writing and looks up, her eyes wide. "What?" 

Flynn internally winces, but doesn't back down. "I missed you. Hanging out with you, I mean. Because I see you everyday, we go to the same school-"

Carrie shifts, lip quirking, head tilting. "Okay Flynn, don't start freaking out on me." Flynn shuts her mouth obediently and Carrie pauses, thinking. "I missed you too Flynn. You and Julie. I know that I haven't been a good friend- much less a good person but I just hope you guys can both forgive me. I want to earn back your friendship." 

Flynn's eyes widen. "Carrie…" She scoots closer and places her hand over Carrie's. She doesn't speak, just squeezes. Carrie's face flushes red. "Don't get all touchy on me now." 

Carrie splutters. "You're holding  _ my  _ hand!" 

Flynn pulls away, hiding a grin. "You can't prove anything- No one will believe you." 

"You're the worst." 

The silence that fell was gentle and comfortable- just like the afternoons they would spend bedazzling jackets and high heels that they couldn't wear. Though, there was something different in the air, an extra charge. Flynn couldn't put a name to it, but whatever it was, it made them both pink. 

They spend a little more time on the song before Flynn finds the courage to bring it up. 

"You know...your song?" She asks hesitantly. "The one you performed for open mic night?" 

Carrie blinks. "Oh. Yes?" 

"That was really different then what you usually do. Different  _ good _ ." Flynn says. "I mean, you  _ killed  _ it with that guitar. I didn't know you could play!" 

"Yeah? You liked it?" She asks, her voice uncharacteristically unsure. "Nick taught me a little...back when we were together." 

Flynn's smile fades a little. She wants to say that she's sorry they broke up, that she feels bad. But Flynn does think that Nick was right to so. And she's sure that they'll be back together soon, especially if Carrie keeps going down this path. 

She can't figure out why but the thought makes Flynn's throat close. 

Carrie keeps talking, breaking Flynn out of her thoughts. "But it wasn't Nick who helped me find the words to the song. That was you." 

A slow smile breaks over Flynn's face. "Something real from your heart." She repeats. 

"I mean, I did all the heavy lifting." Carrie jokes, flipping her hair, but then she gets serious. "But you...well, you inspired me. You helped me to pull out something real. So thank you for that." 

Flynn's smile grows and she lets the moment hang for a second before- 

"Don't look now, but it looks like you're actually being  _ nice  _ to me." 

Carrie rolls her eyes playfully and picks up her pink glitter pen with the pom-pom at the end. "You can't prove anything-" She parrots. "No one will believe you." 

Flynn laughs so hard that she snorts. 

...

Alex's heart drops to his feet when he poofs in to see Julie curled into a tight ball, shaking. 

He instantly drops down to her side, his stomach churning and hands fluttering around her nervously. 

"Julie, Julie, what's wrong, what happened?" 

She inhales shakily through harsh sobs. The sound of her breathing is jagged. 

"A-are you hurt?" Alex asks. He tries to touch her, to pull her close, but he's not tangible right now. No wonder. If Julie is  _ crying  _ then there's no way she could focus enough to help Alex comfort her. "Julie, please, answer me, I- I'm scared, are you okay?" 

Julie must hear the fear in his voice because she takes another breath- deeper this time- and lifts her head. The sight of her tearfilled eyes and red face makes Alex's heart break. 

"-Lex-" She sobs, clearly panicking. "-Alex-"

"Breathe Jules, can you do that for me?" He asks, now that he can see she isn't in pain. "Breathe with me, alright?" 

Alex over exaggerates his breathing, making sure to breathe in for four, hold for four and release for four the way Bobby taught him. Julie follows his lead and eventually she stops hiccuping and her tremors subside. He keeps breathing though, because  _ better safe than sorry,  _ and he only stops when Julie opens her mouth to speak. 

"Thank you Alex," She whispers, her voice smaller than he's ever heard her. It makes Alex worry- Julie isn't supposed to be small or quiet. She's all building harmonies and belted notes and powerful runs. She's never... _ meek.  _

She carefully leans her head onto Alex's shoulder and as soon as they touch, he doesn't even hesitate to scoop her up. She tenses for a moment but then snakes her arms around his middle. He can feel her bury her face into his hoodie shoulder, trying to get as close as possible. 

"Julie, it's okay," He says, for lack of anything else to offer. He doesn't know what happened or what's going on, but he aches to help however he can. "Whatever it is, we can figure it out together." 

He isn't expecting it when she pulls away, her eyes wet, her voice shaky. 

"I think Caleb is back. And I think he's hurt Nick." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every single day I think about big brother Alex and my heart grows seven sizes in my chest


	8. You're more to me, we're everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shit." Alex curses. "Alright. Thank you, I really appreciate-" 
> 
> Willie cuts him off with a gasp, jerking and doubling over in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way that writing this fic is the BEST time of my life <3 yee haw let's go!

Luke basically full on _panics_ when he poofs into the studio and sees the tear tracks on Julie's face. 

She's still tucked under Alex's arm, shaking a little bit. He hasn't moved from her side and Julie is _so_ grateful for it. She can still feel Nick's hands on her, can still feel that paralyzing, chest tightening fear of being stuck and helpless. 

"Julie? Julie? Sunshine, what happened?" Luke asks, instantly dropping down in front of her. "Are you okay?" 

"Luke," She breathes, and wiggles her arm free to clasp at his hand. "I'm okay." 

"Are you sure? Because the tears say otherwise." Reggie jokes, but there's a note of seriousness in his voice. He moves to Julie's other side and being surrounded on all sides by her band is what makes the last of the tension drain from her shoulders. 

She knows they'd do whatever they could to protect her, just like she'd do whatever she needed to protect them. 

"I had a run in with Caleb." She says quietly. 

Reggie's nervous smile drops and Luke's eyes widen. 

"You _what?"_ Luke gapes. "A- are you hurt? What did he do? How did he-" 

"Relax Luke." Alex says, kicking at Luke's knee gently. He meets Julie gaze, her wide eyes looking at him for guidance. "Julie and I made a promise. No more blind panic. We're all together and we're all going to figure this out _calmly."_

Luke jerks his head up and down, still clearly very tense and worried. So when Alex takes a deep breath, all three of them subconsciously follow suit. 

"Nick was acting weird- _has_ been acting weird for a while now." Julie starts. "The way that he talks about music and some of the things that he does just don't seem like Nick. And I was worried, but today proved it. Caleb must have done something to him."

"Did something?" Alex prompts gently. 

" _No lo sé,"_ She huffs, clearly frustrated with herself. "I can't explain it. Something was just _off_. That look in his eye...that wasn't Nick. I've known him for a long time, he would never do something like that." 

"What did he say?" Reggie asks. "What clued you in to think it was Caleb?" 

Julie shifts, already uncomfortable with thinking about it for too long. The way the air tightened, the way he pushed into her personal space, the fact that he was _in her home._

"He just kept asking about you guys. Trying to get me to call you to help write the song. He was fixated on the band, not the project." 

"That does sound like Caleb." Alex sighs. 

"Okay well, we need a plan." Luke squeezes Julie's hand comfortingly. "And it can't involve you being anywhere near Nick."

"Luke, I want to help him!" She protests. "He's my friend and-"

"No." He says and she's thrown into shocked silence by the sheer firmness of the statement. His expression shifts, becoming pleading, almost pained. "Jules, if Caleb got his hands on you...I don't know what I'd do. I need you to be _safe_."

Julie wants to protest, but when she looks to Reggie and Alex they're both watching her with the same expressions. 

"But how are we going to help him if I should stay away from him?" She asks.

Luke is quiet, before going, "What if I check on him? To see how he's doing?" 

Julie blinks. "You'd do that?" 

He nods once and Julie flashes back to them sitting at her dining room table, his face open, gentle, _she's important to you, you're important to me._

"Thank you Luke." She says, feeling a little choked up. "I- thanks." 

"Maybe Willie has some information about Caleb?" Alex offers. "I can go talk to him if that could help." 

Julie tenses, barely fighting the urge to curl a needy hand into Alex's sweatshirt, a tiny _wait, don't leave me._ Reggie must recognize her jerky movement because he stands and offers her a hand. 

"That sounds good." He says. "I'll stay with you Julie." 

Julie feels her whole body sigh in relief. She lets go of Luke's hand and wiggles out from under Alex's arm. She bypasses Reggie's outstretched hand completely and just buries her face into his chest. Instantly his arms come up to wrap around her snuggly. 

"Can we call Flynn and bake cookies?" She mumbles into his chest. 

His arms tighten around her. "Of course Julie. I mean, it's your house." 

She laughs, the sound muffled by Reggie's flannel. Once again, she finds herself wondering what she would do without these ghosts in her life. 

…

Carrie's doorbell rings just as she's about to collapse into her couch, tired from hanging out with Flynn all day. 

She has to bite down a smile at the sheer thought because she's _genuinely_ so glad to be able to be around Flynn again. They were writing lyrics the way they used to, when they were small and full of energy. Carrie didn't realize how much she missed it until she could do it again. 

She hopes that this lasts long after their project is over. Maybe they can work together more, a little Double Trouble, Dirty Candy collab. Carrie thinks that would be fun, and it could breath new life into her girls- make them all feel more alive, less like they're going through the motions. 

She's basically beaming when she goes to answer the door, the way she hardly ever does anymore. But when she opens it and sees Nick standing there, face pale, eyes wide, her smile dims. 

"Nick?" She blinks. "Wha-" 

"Care," He says, voice shaky, "I'm sorry, I just- I didn't have anywhere else to go." 

She's speechless for a second before ushering him inside. He comes willingly, looking dazed, not all there. She nudges him down so he's sitting on the couch and turns away to grab some blankets but he curls a cold hand around her wrist. 

Carrie pauses, eyes wide. "Nick?"

"Don't- don't leave me." He whispers, eyes avoiding hers, fixed on their hands. "Please." 

"Nicky," She breathes. She wants to say _never, I wouldn't, you're my best friend,_ but she remembers the way she treated him, the way she made him miserable, and she swallows it down. "I- okay. _Okay."_

She sits beside him, close, thigh to thigh like they always used to, and clasps her hands over his. He's freezing and shivering and instantly presses close to her, like he's seeking warmth. 

"Is everything alright? What happened?" 

Nick takes a breath. "I don't know, I just- something isn't right, Care. I can't remember the whole last week. Whenever I try, it comes up all fuzzy." 

She frowns. "Fuzzy? Did you get hurt at Lacrosse practice?" 

"I can't remember." He says. "I don't even remember if I _went_ to practice. How could I not remember?" 

"Okay," She says gently, sensing the oncoming panic, "okay Nick, I believe you. Don't worry, we'll figure it out okay? Just-" 

She falters, a little unsure, but then reaches over and pulls the throw off the couch. She drapes it over his shoulders. 

"Just worry about warming up, okay? Everything else can come later." 

…

Willie looks shocked to see him. Shocked, but glad, a huge grin and those full on crinkled eyes that makes Alex gush. 

And under normal circumstances, he _would_ be gushing because Willie's smile is like pure starlight, like a trapped comet, and seeing it makes mini fireworks flicker in Alex's gut, but- 

But. 

The shadow impression of a shaking Julie pressed against his side won't leave his head. No, he's here on business and he can't indulge in Willie's beautiful face. No matter how much he might want to. 

"Alex!" He cries, hopping up to greet him. "Hey hotdog, I missed you." 

Alex blinks, unable to help the small smile that creeps across his face. "Miss me? You just saw me earlier today." 

"I always miss you when you're not here." Willie says, and he shrugs like it's no big deal, like he didn't just say something that made the ground under Alex shift. "But what's up? Are you good?" 

"Uh, yeah, I'm alright." He nods. "But, uh, I needed to ask you some questions." 

Willie's expression sobers, becoming more concerned, but no less open. He nods Alex over to a park bench and pats the metal invitingly. Alex doesn't hesitate to sit next to him, fiddling with his hands nervously. 

"Shoot Hotdog," Willie says gently. "What's on your mind?" 

"Okay, um, I don't really know how to ask this- I'll try to do it delicately but-" Alex takes a breath. "Do ghosts have the ability to possess people?" 

Willie pales dramatically. "Possess people." He repeats slowly. "Possess _lifers?"_

Alex nods once. 

"I- I have heard of it, yes." He's nervous now, fidgety in the way that he gets when Alex asks too many questions about the Hollywood Ghost Club and Caleb. "Most ghosts are too weak to do something like that- it takes a lot of energy." 

"But a ghost that is very powerful could do it?" 

Willie pauses, like he's thinking about the information that he's revealing, then nods slowly. 

Alex takes a breath. "Okay, okay. That's- that's not good. That is actually really bad." 

"Is...is Julie alright? Did something happen to her?" Willie asks hesitantly, worried. He pauses, then: "If- if I can ask?"

"If you can ask?" Alex repeats incredulously. "Of course you can ask, you're-" 

Willie's eyes widen as Alex tries to find the words to explain what Willie _is_ to him. He's the hand that Alex fumbles for in the dark, he's the place that Alex can't help but return to when he's on autopilot, he's Alex's _person._

He remembers Julie's beaming smile of approval when she first met Willie. The silent, _I like him,_ that she mouthed when Willie's back was turned. The way she instantly jumped in, telling Willie everything he wanted to know, opening up like a book. 

Alex knows that Julie genuinely likes Willie, even despite the trouble he may have gotten them into before. And maybe Willie feels like he doesn't deserve to know; that he doesn't deserve to care about Julie because of the unbreakable lines that tie him to Caleb, but Alex doesn't give a shit about that. And he knows for a fact that Julie doesn't either. 

"-you're important to me." Alex finishes lamely, the words caught in the back of his throat. Willie blinks. "Julie is okay. She's shaken, but she's alright. Someone close to her has been acting weird and we think we have an idea of why."

"Possession." Willie huffs to himself. "That makes a lot of sense. Caleb has been a little MIA recently. Which is why I've had so much freedom in talking with you. It's not normal for him to be away for so long, so him possessing a lifer is one _hundred_ percent a possibility." 

"Shit." Alex curses. "Alright. Thank you, I really appreciate-" 

Willie cuts him off with a gasp, jerking and doubling over in pain. Alex watches with wide eyes as Willie's arms wrap around his stomach. 

"W-willie? Are you okay? What-" 

Willie reaches out, bracing a hand against Alex. Alex instantly moves to support him, panic rising at the sound of his harsh breathing. 

"Willie, what's going on? Please, I'm-" 

Willie lifts his head, eyes pained. "It seems like Caleb is back." He coughs. "And upset about something." 

Alex's brain instantly snaps to flashing lights, stabbing, ceaseless pain. 

"Oh God, he stamped you again. Willie, you can't-" Alex can't help himself. He clutches at Willie's wrists, refusing to let him go. "-you can't go, what will he do to you?" 

"I don't know, but it'll be worse if I don't go." He takes a deep breath. "Alex, I- I'm sorry. That we always end up like this. That you guys keep getting hurt. That we can't- " 

Willie stops himself and Alex thinks about the unsaid words that he's kept tucked in the back of his throat, the words that he runs himself ragged thinking about in the middle of the night, the words he wants to whisper when the sunlight hits Willie's face _just_ right and Alex's heart grows to the size of the moon. 

Alex moves on instinct, cupping Willie's face in his hands and pressing their mouths together neatly. He feels Willie tense under his hands and has the brief, terrifying thought that he completely miscalculated, but then Willie is kissing back, his hands moving to the back of Alex's neck to pull him closer. 

_Oh._ Oh, this is where Alex should've been his whole life. Right here, in Willie's arms, right here, against his lips. 

When he pulls away, he knows his face is flushed pink. Usually he'd be embarrassed but Willie's blinking at him like he's in a daze so Alex figures he did something right. 

Alex brushes a thumb over Willie's jawline, watching as Willie's eyes flutter closed. "Willie, please stay safe. I need you, okay? I need you here with me." 

Willie nods, turning his head to press a small kiss to the palm of Alex's hand. 

"I'll be safe 'lex. I promise." 

...

Nick feels like he accidentally went back in time. 

Laying with his head in Carrie's lap, as she runs a well manicured hand through his hair and tells him about the performance that he apparently missed because he was too busy being… _sick? Concussed?_ He still didn't know. It was like being back when they first got together. Back when Carrie, Julie and Flynn were all friends and they all hung out together. 

"Your lessons came in handy," Carrie is saying, softly praising, the way that she talks only when they're alone, "Flynn said she was surprised at me pulling it out." 

"Flynn?" Nick blinks. "You guys are talking again?"

Carrie's hand in his hair pauses for a half a second before continuing as if nothing happened. "Yeah," she says slowly, "yeah, we got paired together for a project for Ms. Harrison's class. I- I think we're friends again." 

Nick shifts a little so he's looking her in the face. She's not meeting his eyes, her cheeks dusted with color. _Interesting,_ he thinks, _one week of a mysterious concussion and he misses everything._

"Yeah? That's good." He hums, closing his eyes again. "I like Flynn." 

Carrie is quiet for a moment. "...Yeah, I like her too." 

"What about Julie?" 

"I haven't- well, I haven't been able to talk to her much." She sighs. "Actually, you and Julie have been paired together for the project. But I guess you don't remember that, huh?" 

"No, I can only remember the last time I went to talk to Julie." 

Carrie makes a noise, sympathetic and low, and Nick relaxes into her knowing hands and easy silence. 

"This is nice," Nick whispers. "I missed you Carrie." 

"Yeah, so I keep getting told." She pauses, then gently brushes her thumb over Nick's cheekbone. Nick opens his eyes. "We should talk, Nick." 

Her face is serious, but her thumb is still brushing against his cheek so he doesn't sit up. "Okay. What's wrong?" 

"I just wanted to talk to you. I mean, I was planning on doing this before now and I don't know if it's the right time but-" 

He sits up now, recognizing where Carrie might be going with this conversation. He doesn't want to do this- he wants to keep sitting in the dark, curled up with the Carrie that he remembers falling in love with. 

"Carrie-"

"Nick, please." She begs. "Just let me apologize. I've been practicing." 

Nick quiets and nods, letting Carrie take a breath. 

"I was a bitch. And you're going to try to say that I wasn't because you're nice but the truth is that I was and I'm sorry about it." She says. "And you don't have to accept my apology if you don't want to, because I know that actions speak louder than words. I just- I hope that we can get back to the way we used to be someday. So yeah, that's all I wanted to say." 

Nick can't help being surprised, but also warm. He still loves Carrie, probably always will, but being apart was good for them. Well, at least for her. She looks softer, more gentle around the edges, a _lot_ less tense. There's no doubt in Nick"s mind that writing with Flynn helped with that. Flynn has that effect on people. 

He opens his mouth to respond but then a sound catches his attention. A sort of soft popping. He turns his head and sees- _what the fuck-_

It's Julie's bandmate, the one who wears beanies and plays the electric guitar. He's standing there, looking around, a small frown on his face.

"What the _hell?"_ Nick blurts. 

Carrie frowns and the guy with the beanie blinks. He turns, looks behind him and then turns back, his eyes wide. 

"Wait- you can _see_ me?" He asks incredulously. 

"Yeah, of course I can see you, how the hell did you get in here?" 

"Nick," Carrie says slowly. "Who are you talking to?"

He snaps his gaze back to her. Her eyes are flickering from him to the spot that he's looking at and she's got that little crease in her forehead that tells him she's worried. Worried about _him._

"I-" Nick looks back over to Julie's bandmate, who looks shocked out of his mind. "Julie's bandmate? He's standing right there. You can't see him?" 

Carrie shakes her head. 

"Dude, _you_ shouldn't be able to see me." He says and then he sits down on Carrie's _chez lounge,_ throwing Nick's brain for a loop. Holograms shouldn't be able to sot on couches. "I'm Luke." 

"Hi Luke, I'm Nick." 

"Yeah, I know." Luke says, half smiling a little. His eyes flicker over Nick's face, as if looking for something. "I know you too," He says, nodding at Carrie. 

"She can't hear you. She probably thinks I'm crazy. I _feel_ crazy." 

"I do not think you're crazy." Carrie protests. "I _am_ mildly concerned that you knocked your _brain_ loose on a lacrosse stick though." 

"You hit your head playing lax?" Luke asks. 

"No," Nick says immediately, then he frowns. "Actually, I don't know. It doesn't feel like it. I can't really remember much of anything." 

Luke hums, his eyebrows going up a little. "Huh. Interesting. Well, I can tell you that you probably didn't- Uh- _knock your brain loose on a lacrosse stick._ But you shouldn't be able to see me because I'm a ghost." 

Nick blinks. "You're a ghost?" 

"A ghost?" Carrie repeats. "Oh _come on_ Nick, you're taking this _Julie and the phantoms_ thing a little too seriously. Ghosts? Really?" 

Nick sees Luke frown and then he stands, moving over to Carrie.

"He's coming towards you," Nick reports obediently. 

Luke picks up the ends of her hair and waves them around like he's shaking a horse's reins. Carrie jerks backwards in shock. 

"See?" Luke says smugly, leaning back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Ghost." 

"Believe me now?" Nick asks and Carrie pauses, then huffs. 

"Alright, whatever. Julie's band is made up of a bunch of ghosts. Figures." 

"But why can I see you?" Nick asks, turning back to Luke. "I mean, I'm still alive. I _am_ still alive right?"

"I think you'd know if you weren't alive anymore, but yeah, you're still alive." Luke sits back down on the couch and his expression sobers a little. "Julie is usually the only person who can see us when we aren't playing but- this must be a side effect from Caleb." 

"Caleb? Who's Caleb?" 

Luke winces. "It's a long story, but the short of it is that Caleb is a ghost who wants me, Reggie and Alex- the other guys in Julie's band- playing music for him for eternity. The reason why you can't remember the last week is because Caleb must have done something to you to get close to Julie, and by extension, us." 

Nick's stomach tightens. 

"Look, Nick, I know it's a lot-" Luke says slowly, putting up his hands placatingly, "-but now that we all know, we can help. We can keep him away from you _and_ Julie." 

"Nick?" Carrie asks, voice tinged with new worry. "Nick, what's he saying? What's wrong?" 

"I-" Nick stutters. "I need- I need to go." 

"Go?" Carrie echos as Nick scrambles to his shaky legs and untangles himself from the blankets. "Go? Wha- What did you say to him?" She hisses at the air where Luke is. 

Nick pays her no mind, grabbing his coat and bustling to the door. A ghost fucked with his head, took over his _life_ and Nick can't remember any of it. A ghost- and not a very _nice_ ghost- played house for a week of Nick's life, talking to his friends, sleeping in his bed, playing with his little sister. 

He needs to- He can't- 

"Nick!" Luke pops in front of him, just as he's about to reach for the doorknob. "Please, you need to _breathe._ Follow my lead-"

"You're a ghost," Nick wheezes, "do you even breathe?" 

"I try not to think about it too much, honestly." He says, taking an over exaggerated breath. Nick follows his lead and after a minute that tight feeling in his gut releases. 

"There you go man," Luke grins. "Good. That's like, a million times better I bet." 

Nick nods slowly, focused on breathing. He's fucking tired. He just wants to sleep for a whole week but with _out_ a crazy ghost taking over his body. 

"Nick?" Carrie calls. He turns and she's watching him, her face screwed up with worry. "Nick, I don't know what's going on and I won't make you stay if you feel better at home but you could sleep here. If you wanted. It- It would make me feel better if I knew you were okay." 

"I don't know-"

"I'll fuck up any ghosts that come here." She promises. "I'll throw my heels at them." 

Luke laughs. "No wonder Julie liked you, you're pretty funny." Nick shoots him a look, and Luke throws his hands up. "Just an observation!" 

"Alright," He sighs, he's too tired to drive home anyway. "I'll call my dads and tell them I'm staying here." 

Carrie grins, holding out her hand. "Lit, a sleepover. We can stay up all night talking about boys." 

Nick rolls his eyes and takes her hand, letting her lead him back into the living room. "Sure Carrie. Or we can talk about _Flynn-"_

"Flynn?" Luke asks, drifting along with them. Nick isn't too sure why he's still here, but maybe it's to make sure that Nick doesn't start acting like Caleb the evil ghost again. That would totally ruin the atmosphere. 

"Oh yeah," Nick replies, "Carrie and Flynn are _friends_ again- writing songs, holding hands-" 

"Your ghost friend is _not_ invited!" Carrie says loudly, pointedly cutting him off. "Tell him to leave or else I will throw shoes at him." 

Luke raises an eyebrow, skeptical, but turns to Nick, looking for his approval. Nick pauses, touched that Luke even cares enough to stay and possibly put up with Carrie throwing various boots at him all night just to make sure he feels safe. Nick has no doubt in his mind that Julie asked him to do that, but he could've skipped out as soon as he saw that Nick didn't have a ghost driven brain anymore. 

Nick nods a little and Luke nods back before dances over in front of Carrie. He flips her hair into her face, grinning when she sputters. 

He poofs away with a wave to Nick and a "See ya!" 

Carrie brushes her hair out of her face. "I hate it here." 

Nick squeezes her hand, nudging her along, "No you don't." 

...

"Holy shit Julie," Flynn says, mouth wide open. "That's...that's _scary_." 

Julie sighs, pressing her hands to her temples, feeling a million times better after venting to Flynn. As she always does. Flynn leans over the counter and curls her hands around her wrists, pulling Julie's hands away from her face. 

"But hey, I'm here and we're going to kick ghost butt, isn't that _right_ Reggie?" 

Julie looks over to the bowl of cookie dough and grins when she sees the cookie dough he's got on his finger. 

"Julie stop encouraging him!" Flynn groans. "I can tell from your face that he's got his ghostly fingers in my cookie dough!" 

"But it's _good,"_ Reggie whines. "You have magical baking hands Flynn! What do you expect me to do?"

Julie snorts. "Reggie says he can't help himself because you're just _so_ good at baking."

"Flattery will get you nowhere ghost boy," Flynn says, wagging her finger at him. "Shoo, go check if the oven is ready." 

Reggie slinks off, a playful pout on his lips. 

"You know, I like having a bunch of ghosts to boss around." Flynn grins. "There's a lot less walking now." 

"Yeah? Well they all really like you." Julie says honestly. "They think you're super cool- which, of course, you are." 

Flynn gasps, delighted. "Now _you,_ flattery _does_ work with you. Go on, I know you want to dip a finger in there." 

Julie does so with a smile. "So, I told you how it's been working with Nick, how has it been working with Carrie?" 

Flynn's face goes weird, spots of red blooming on her cheek and Julie's interest is piqued. She leans in on her elbows, grateful that at least _someone_ is having a good time with this song writing project.

"Carrie and I have actually been getting along really well," She starts shyly. "I kinda forgot how good of a song writer she is, you know? I mean, it's almost like our brains are on the same wavelength when it comes to melodies and beats." 

"Of course," Julie nods, "you guys always had the same music tastes. It's kind of the perfect partnership." 

Something inside of Flynn seems to brighten at that, at Julie's unwavering support. 

"You think so?" Flynn asks and Julie nods. It was always Flynn and Carrie swapping playlists and being shocked that most of the songs matched up, or them nabbing each other's headphones and crowing, _that's the song that I showed you!_

They were also always teasing each other- making fun of each other the way that only friends could. When they stopped being friends with Carrie and that teasing turned _real,_ it was jarring. Two of her best friends throwing _genuine_ insults at one another, and to hurt each other- it was _not_ fun. 

"I'm glad that you guys made up." 

Flynn tugs at one of her bracelets, one of her little nervous habits. "I think we did a little more than made up." 

Julie blinks. Flynn flushes. 

"Oh." She says, her grin growing five sizes bigger. "Oh my God. You have a crush." 

Flynn puts her head into her hands and groans loudly. "I do _not."_

Now it's Julie's turn to curl her hands around Flynn's wrists and gently pull her hands from her face. Julie giggles when she sees Flynn's pout. She leans forward and presses their foreheads together, immediately wiping the pout from Flynn's face. It's Julie's little, _I love you, I'm here for you, you've got me._

Julie waits until the tension eases from her shoulders before pulling away. 

"Flynn, trust me, your face is as hot as the sun." She smirks. "You, _hermana_ , have a crush and her name is Carrie Wilson." 

Flynn groans even louder and drops her head to the counter. "Ugh, _kill me._ My heart is so stupid." 

Julie takes the time that she's not looking to dip her hand into the cookie batter. "Sorry Flynn, can't kill you, I already have too many ghost friends." 

Without looking up, Flynn says, "Julie Molina, get your hand out of my cookie batter or _else."_

Julie licks the spoon with a beaming smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO 👏🏾 MANY 👏🏾 FUN 👏🏾 DYNAMICS 👏🏾 IN THIS SHOW!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH ‼


	9. I make an entrance when I don't try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If anything, Nick deserves answers. 
> 
> "Yeah," Julie breathes, "yeah, I've got this." 
> 
> "Okay." Flynn says, her voice only a little doubtful. "Hey Nick!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me @ me: aniya, just write a chapter where One thing happens and post it   
> me: okay.   
> *posts this chapter* 
> 
> 😐

"Are you guys ready for tonight?" 

Julie looks up, frowning, before realizing that her dad wasn't talking to her. He was facing opposite her, politely watching the air above the chair where Reggie was sitting. He had that habit, Julie noticed, of watching where the ghosts would be even if he couldn't see them. She thought it was cute, even more so because Reggie had confessed to her, quietly, softly, that it made him feel more listened to.

"It's like- I don't know- like I have his full attention." He admitted softly one night when they were laying side by side, looking at the glow stars above Julie's bed. "Like he really cares what I have to say, even if he's just asking to be polite. It's stupid, I know-"

"No!" Julie had protested immediately, reaching for his hand. "No, it's not _orsito._ It's important to you. Nothing that's important to you is ever stupid."

Recently, she's started putting the pieces together for what her boys home lives looked like, and if she was being honest, she wasn't liking what she was seeing. 

The idea of Reggie learning that people like him better and pay him more attention when he's funny and joking makes her want to travel back in time. It makes her want to grab whoever raised Reggie by the shoulders, shake them and yell, _do you know what you're doing? Do you have any idea what you're missing out on? Who you're hurting?_

Luckily though, Ray has the room in his home to fill any holes left behind from Reggie's past- and Reggie's already crawled his way into Julie's heart, there's no way she's letting him go without a fight.

Reggie scribbles down a response, a huge smile on his face, and Julie wishes that she could share his enthusiasm. She hopes she can shake it by the time they have to perform, but the worry is so tangible in her throat that she wouldn't be surprised if she opened her mouth to sing and only a squeak came out. 

When Alex and Luke came back last night, Alex immediately started pacing back and forth, rambling nervously about Willie and stamps and _possession._ And then of course, Luke chimed in with, _yeah, by the way, Nick can see us now._

So. Yeah. That's a lot. 

From what Luke told her, Nick isn't acting like he's possessed anymore and he's with Carrie, who was threatening ghosts with boots? Julie doesn't really know what that means but she trusts that he's safe in Carrie's...shoes. She still can't help but be wary, hoping that he doesn't come to the band bash tonight. 

The thought of facing him after that writing session- Julie didn't even want to think about it. 

And this thing with Willie _hurts._ She's glad that Caleb is done messing with Nick but she really wishes he would leave Willie alone. Alex's face last night, pale with worry, furrowed with fear, is stuck in Julie's head. The fact that Alex confessed to them having their first kiss with such a shaky voice because he was too busy being worried for Willie, makes Julie burn red hot. 

She's hung around Willie maybe twice and she already adores him. He's kind-hearted, gentle and funny. He smiles when Luke throws an arm around his shoulders and lets Julie ramble on about _ostinato_ and _homophony_ with no complaint. 

She likes him and if she could, she would curl a hand around his wrist and forcibly yank him away from Caleb. She would stomp a foot and say, _you cannot have him, he is mine._

"Julie?" 

She looks up, pulled out of her thoughts by Reggie's voice. He's watching her with wide, concerned eyes and _oh._ She didn't even realize that her dad had gotten up to grab his keys to take her to school. 

"Are you alright?" He asks. 

Julie nods. "Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I'm just-" She trails off and Reggie's worried frown deepens. 

"You're worried about Willie." He says, scooting closer. 

"Not as worried as Alex." Julie sighs, tugging at the ends of her hair. Flynn hates it when she does that and it seems like Reggie agrees because he reaches forward and taps at the back of her hand, a gentle _don't do that._

She lets go and slips her hand into Reggie's waiting ones. 

"We're going to figure it out Jules," He says, squeezing her hands. "But one thing at a time right? Let's kill this gig and then we'll deal with it." 

Julie pauses. Her _mama_ used to say something like that- _levanta una piedra a la vez-_ lift one rock at a time. She can still hear it coming out in her voice, soft and soothing, smoothing over any of Julie's worries. 

God, she misses her. 

"Thank you Reggie," Julie says, breathing around the lump in her throat. "You're right- one thing at a time." 

...

"Costumes?" 

"Check." 

"Shoes?"

"Check."

"Talent?" Carrie asks, an indulgent grin on her face. 

Cindy looks up, catches Carrie's playful eyes and laughs. "Check. Well it looks like _someone's_ in a good mood today." 

Carrie shrugs but is unable to bite down her smile. "I don't know, I just feel good. Dad's coming to the band smash tonight and I was able to apologize to Nick last night." 

Cindy's expression brightens. "Yeah? How did it go? What did he say?"

Carrie falters. "Well, he didn't really forgive me, but I think that's okay. I have to prove that I meant it, you know?" 

"Yeah," Cindy watches Carrie fold another outfit, smoothing down the sequins as she hums under her breath. Her best friend is _happy._ It's been a while since Cindy's seen her like this- dancing on air and enjoying music for the _fun_ of it, not for the success. "Yeah, I get it. But I think you can do it." 

Carrie's smile gleams. "I know, I can do anything." 

And Cindy honestly can't argue with that. 

"There is something that I wanted to talk to you about." Carrie brings up once they're done packing up their stuff. 

"Yeah?"

"I want you to lead the girls tonight." She says and Cindy is thrown for a loop. She can't help the way she reaches forward and presses the back of her hand to Carrie's forehead, checking for a fever because _what?_

Carrie knocks Cindy's hand away. "Cind, stop it. I'm serious and I'm not sick. I want you to lead them."

"Why? Are you- are you pulling away again? Because if you do Kitty will-"

Carrie shakes her head. "No. I promise I'm not pulling away or delirious. Cindy when I was gone _you_ were the one leading the girls and helping them shine and you did it beautifully. You're a natural leader and would _kill_ this dance, I know it." 

Cindy gapes a little, speechless. "Care, I can't-"

"Ah!" Carrie cuts her off, holding up a finger. "Take it or else my feelings will be hurt. You're amazing Cindy. You were made for the spotlight. I can share when I want to." 

Cindy laughs, more at ease. "Okay Carrie, _okay._ This is the one and only time that I'll do this- and it's only for you." 

Carrie hums, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "One and only time until I ask you to lead again, but sure, whatever you say Cind. Whatever you say." 

...

_At this point,_ Flynn thinks as she sets up the projector, _the band might as well come clean about the fact that they're ghosts._

Nick knows, Carrie knows, Trevor-real-name-Bobby knows. Flynn thinks if Julie got on the loudspeaker during homeroom and went, _the boys in my band are all dead,_ the whole student body would just tsk because they already knew. 

But Flynn does her job as the manager and plugs the projector into the socket. She's fiddling with the wires when she hears heels click towards her and a familiar voice. 

"You guys still haven't upgraded?" 

She looks up. 

Carrie is standing there, a box propped against her hip, shining pink in the low backstage lights. She's smirking, but there's something soft in it, something playful. 

"Ah yeah, I mean, what can we do?" Flynn sighs, rising to her feet. "We've got a fixed budget. And I'm told that Luke likes vintage." 

"Luke?" Carrie's nose scrunches. Flynn's stupid gay brain thinks it's adorable. "Hm, I'm familiar. He touched my hair, I think he's my least favorite ghost in Julie's band." 

"Yeah? Then I guess you won't like Alex, I'm told he's touched your hair once." 

Carrie blinks. 

"But," She continues, tilting her head a bit, "I know that he likes Dirty Candy, so-"

"He likes our sound? Oh I _love_ Alex." Carrie says immediately. "I don't even care. I hope Nick comes tonight so I can talk to him. Or- well, talk to him _through_ Nick." 

Flynn's so thrown that she forgets to remind Carrie that she could just talk to Alex through _Julie._ "Nick's coming?" 

Flynn's brain instantly jumps back to the last time they talked face to face- his dismissive attitude, his condescending looks. Of course now she knows that Nick was really Caleb, but she _likes_ Nick and she wants Nick to like her. 

The thought that Flynn is something to be brushed off or ignored really digs deep under her self esteem. And maybe if Caleb was wearing anyone else's face Flynn would be able to shake it easier, but it's just- 

It was _Nick._

Sweet Nick, kind Nick, who found a way to split pixie stixs with her in second grade and always complimented her leopard print rubber rain boots even when it wasn't raining. The Nick that picked her first for dodgeball and then spent the whole game making sure she didn't get hit, even if it cost his team the win. The Nick that patiently explains lacrosse rules to her every time she asks because for as amazing as she is, she does _not_ understand sports at _all._

That's the Nick that Flynn knows. That's the Nick that Flynn- 

Loves. 

Oh. 

"Well, I invited him. I'm-" Carrie's face colors a little. "I'm trying out this new 'being _nice'_ thing." 

Flynn looks at her. Allows herself a second to think. There's Nick; sweet, gentle, soft knuckles and slow smiles. He glows like a lantern in Flynn's chest, a slow burning affection, one she didn't even realize she had until she couldn't see anymore. 

And then there's Carrie; fierce, strong, pink bubble gum and tall boots. She's a forest fire, taking Flynn completely by surprise and burning her from the inside out. 

For half a moment Flynn thinks there's no way her heart can be bursting with love for both of them- but then, she relaxes, thinks about sitting on Carrie's couch in between the two of them, how right it felt. 

She smiles. "It suits you Care. You have a glow. I'm happy that you're happy." 

Carrie blinks, her mouth dropping open slightly. Something shifts in the air and suddenly Flynn is all too aware of how much space is between them, of the shadows cast onto Carrie's face by the low lights- 

_kiss her,_ Flynn's dumb gay brain says. 

_shut up,_ Flynn thinks back. 

"Flynn," Carrie breathes, hazel eyes wide and vulnerable, "I think that-" 

There's a thud from the stairs and a door swings open. Flynn jerks backward and turns away, pretending to busy herself with the projector again. Carrie's _dad_ comes in- which Julie is _not_ going to be happy about- and asks Carrie what time they go on. And Flynn, cheeks blazing, confidence shot, firmly ignores her little gay brain singing the _kiss the girl_ song from The Little Mermaid and the way that Carrie's eyes trail after her, unknown words hanging off her lips. 

...

"Don't be nervous." Luke whispers seconds before they go on. He probably saw the way Julie was twisting her bracelets around and around her wrist- but she can't help it. 

Trevor is in the audience. _Bobby._ Who knows that her bandmates _logically_ couldn't be here twenty-five years in the future after their deaths _._ Luckily none of the phantoms noticed him come in with Carrie, otherwise Alex would be fretfully tap-tap-tapping all over everything and then they'd never get through their set. 

"You're gonna kill it-" Luke continues, and he sounds so excited to perform. Julie would hate to take that from him. "Just like you always do." 

She inhales, exhales, then thinks _levanta una piedra a la vez._

She tilts her head a little and Luke gives her a kiss on the cheek. He passes through her because she's not focused, but the sentiment makes Julie warm on the inside. 

"Thank you," She whispers to him, before leaning into her mic. "Hi, we're Julie and the Phantoms and this is _Get Loud,_ we hope you enjoy." 

She puts her fingers to the keys and all of her worries wash away. Nothing other than the notes, the lyrics and the cues fill her head. 

_there's a dream just on the tip of our tongues, a revolution that we hold in our lungs-_

_when we step the ground begins to shake, when we breathe, yeah, feel the earth quake-_

_we're gonna get loud, we're gonna get loud,_

_we're gonna scream so loud, it hurts our throats, we're gonna run so fast, take off from earth,_

_we're gonna get- we're gonna-_

The boys flash in on stage and Julie can _feel_ it. The audience jolts in shock and Julie can't help but grin as she pulls away from the keyboard. 

_get loud, shout, feel it in your soul_

_turn it up, jump, we've only got one goal_

_and it's to feel the music till we break, let it reverberate through our veins,_

_yeah we're getting loud-_

_we're getting loud!_

Julie does a half spin, turning to Reggie to jam with him when a flash of _someone_ catches her eye. The drums stutter a bit on the backbeat and she knows that Alex saw him too. 

_Willie._

Willie is here watching them perform. He snuck away to find Alex and see him rock out. 

Julie smiles so hard that her cheeks start to hurt because _Willie and Alex, Willie and Alex, Willie and Alex._ No matter what, she is _going_ to get them the happy ending that they deserve, even if it means kicking Caleb's face in herself. 

Their sound swells in her chest and she can't help the way she jumps around the stage, buzzing with energy. 

_we wanna loose that dream inside our bones, we wanna dive into all those unknowns_

_we're gonna get loud, yeah, we're gonna get loud_

_we won't pull back from that edge, we won't give in to noisy heads,_

_we're gonna fight to hold on with both hands, we're gonna twirl until our new dream lands,_

_we're gonna get loud, yeah we're gonna get-_

Alex's drums and Luke's guitar drop off as Reggie moves to the keyboard, slowing them down for the last chorus. Julie offers her mic to Luke and wants to kiss him when he instantly comes to get it, reading her easily. 

_get loud, shout, feel it in your soul_

_turn it up, jump, we've only got one goal_

_and it's to feel the music till we break, let it reverberate through our veins,_

_power through until we make that mark, we're flying on, yeah, just a shot in the dark-_

And then the drums kick back in, Alex wailing on them, changed with energy, Reggie jumping and shredding the strings like he was born doing it, Luke singing into the mic like it's the last song he'll ever play. 

Julie can _feel_ it. Their souls. Pinging around on the stage, glowing brighter than the goddamn _moon_ at midnight. If Julie closes her eyes it's almost like there is no difference between them all- like if where one of them stops the other one starts- like all that's needed to bridge the twenty-five year _death_ gap between them is their music. 

Julie would protect this feeling till her last breath. She wouldn't let _anything_ happen to her boys- no matter what. 

_yeah we're getting loud, yeah we're getting loud!_

...

Alex doesn't even think before poofing off the stage and into the crowd. Luckily, Reggie and Luke take the hint and let him go off alone to search. There aren't that many people there so almost immediately Alex finds Willie standing by the exit, arms wrapped around himself. He _looks_ okay- not flashing with purple light or grimacing in pain. If anything he just looks...lonely. 

But when Willie sees him his face breaks out into a huge smile. "Alex, holy shit, you were so good!" 

Alex flushes. "Thank you, I- how are you here? I mean, it's great to see you, I'm glad you're okay-" he pauses, "-wait, you _are_ okay right?" 

Willie's silence is answer enough but he presses close to Alex, bumping their arms together. "Don't you worry about me Hotdog, you just keep killing it on those drums- I can't believe I've never heard you play before. I've seriously been missing out." 

"I'll always worry about you Willie." Alex says quietly, not deterred by Willie trying to distract him. "Always."

Willie's eyes widen, and he falters, ducking his head. He's quiet for a second and that's okay, because Alex will wait for as long as he needs. 

"It was hard to get away but-" Willie looks up, "-I had to do it. Alex I want to be with you. More than anything. Whatever he does to me is nothing compared to being away from you."

Alex's chest squeezes. "I hate seeing you in pain. I hate that he did this to you- that he has this control over you." 

"Me too." He says quietly. Then he laces their fingers together and plasters a smile on his face. "Let's not worry about it now- tell me about your drumset, which one is the snare drum?" 

Alex doesn't want to. He wants to come up with solutions, help Willie get out, but if a distraction is what he _needs,_ then well- 

Alex would do it. He'd do anything that Willie needs, even if he probably shouldn't, even if he breaks a million rules, even if he's scared out of his mind. 

What do you call that? 

...

Flynn hounds her as soon as she gets off the stage, pulling her into a tight hug. 

"Oh Julie, that was _killer._ You guys sounded amazing." 

Julie pulls away and Carrie brushes by, an impressed look on her face. "Yeah, you guys were pretty good. Not as good as we're about to be, but decent." 

Julie blinks. "Oh yeah? We'll see if you can pull out ahead." 

Carrie's grin widens and she marches onto the stage, every step full of force and power. Something in Julie's heart pulses at seeing it- seeing the Carrie that she used to love. It's nice, she thinks, maybe they could be friends again- true friends. 

"How badly did you freeze?" Julie asks Flynn, a knowing smile on her face. Without looking she can tell that Flynn is flushing red. 

"I- I didn't _freeze."_ Flynn protests. "I just- didn't speak. It's a completely different thing. Not all of us are in love with _ghost simps Julie."_

Julie chokes. "I am _not-_ you- I-"

"Uh oh," Flynn _mercifully_ cuts her off. "Three O'clock." 

Julie turns.

"No, no, the _other_ three o'clock." 

"Why is there more than one three o'clock?" Julie huffs and- oh. Uh oh is right. Nick is coming towards them, his head down, his shoulders stiff. He must have come to see Carrie perform. 

Shit. 

Julie tenses, because she is _not_ ready to do this. She doesn't want to face Nick after their last encounter. She doesn't want to chance anything. Never in her life did she ever think she'd be afraid of one of her own classmates, and have that classmate be _Nick._

"You gonna be able to do this?" Flynn asks because she's the best person to have ever existed and knows Julie like the back of her hand. "Because I can fake a heart attack to get us out of here." 

"You can only fake a heart attack _once_ Flynn." Julie says. "After that people stop believing you."

Flynn hums. "I disagree, but if you can do this…" 

Julie inhales, exhales, thinks about the way Luke talked about Nick after visiting him. _Shaken, unsure, anxious-like Alex in the middle of an anxiety attack. Jules, Caleb seriously did a number on him._

If anything, Nick deserves answers. 

"Yeah," Julie breathes, "yeah, I've got this." 

"Okay." Flynn says, her voice only a little doubtful. "Hey Nick!" 

Nick blinks like he was a little lost in thought, but his face lights up when he sees them. A half smile graces his face. 

"Flynn, hi. Julie-" He subtly peeks around, "did you and your band just perform?" 

Julie nods, throat tight. 

"Oh," He says and he sounds genuinely disappointed. "I'm sorry I missed it. I bet you guys were amazing." 

"Hell yeah they were." Flynn grins and when Nick looks at her, there's an interesting light in his eyes. Almost as if he knows something that she doesn't- almost as if he's relieved to see her. 

"Well, I bet, especially with such a spectacular manager as you Flynn." He says. Flynn laughs, her cheeks heating. 

_Huh_ , Julie thinks, _That is interesting._

There's an awkward pause, in which no one knows how to continue the conversation because there is _so_ much to talk about and _so_ much that has happened between them. Julie feels like this mountain is insurmountable- that there is no coming back from the damage that Caleb has wrecked on Julie's life. 

Then Flynn shifts and opens her mouth. "So you see ghosts now huh?" 

Nick coughs and Julie can't help it, she nearly dies of laughter. Huge, gasping laughs that make tears spring up in her eyes. It's probably a byproduct of stress, but that is genuinely the _funniest_ thing that Julie has heard in her entire life. 

"I- can _you_ see them too?" He whispers, eyes comically wide. Julie is nearly thrown into another laughing fit off his expression _alone._

Flynn giggles. "No babe, I just know about them." She offers Julie her pinkie and Julie links their hands easily. "Best friend things." 

Nick's face turns pink, probably from Flynn's habit of casually throwing around pet names. "Oh, well, that's good then. I was worried that I was going crazy and having a ghost tell me I wasn't didn't help much." 

Julie winces. "Yeah I'm sorry, if I was thinking straight I probably would've sent Reggie instead. He's weirdly comforting when he tries to be." 

"No, Luke was great." Nick protests. "He explained really well. But I do still have questions. I also- I mean- Caleb didn't hurt you while he had my face did he? I didn't hurt you?" 

Julie's breath hitches and the mood instantly deflates. Flynn's eyes cut to her, instantly ready to do damage control if need be. 

"Nick, I-" Julie falters because Nick looks _so_ nervous, _so_ burdened, _so_ anxious. She just wants to ease his mind. But she _can't_ lie to him and pretend that nothing happened. She just can't. "-I know it wasn't you Nick. You would never-"

Nick makes a face like he got punched, like all the air got knocked out of his body. "I hurt you," he says, voice wavering. "He made me hurt you." 

Julie shakes her head. "Nick, it wasn't bad, honest. It was just-"

"Julie." Nick says, voice choked up. "Please don't do that. Hurt is hurt, no matter how it happens. It was my hands that hurt you, my face that scared you, I- I'm so sorry for that." 

"I forgive you Nick." She says quietly. And she means it. "I forgive you." 

Flynn gently bumps against Nick, a gentle smile on her face. "If you want to make it up to her, you can co-manage Julie and the Phantoms with me. Having more people around who know about the ghosts will help _infinitely."_

Nick is quiet, eyes flicking from Flynn to Julie, looking for approval. The fact that he'd even look to her to make sure she was okay with it touches her. She nods once and he hesitantly smiles back at Flynn. 

"I'd love to co-manage with you Flynn." Nick says, sounding like a load was lifted off his shoulders. "That sounds like fun." 

…

"Reggie," Luke sighs, "she can't see you, stop flirting." 

Reggie pouts and turns to face him. "I was just _checking."_

"By throwing up finger guns and winking at her?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, I'm sure." 

"She was enjoying our set earlier! You can't deny that!" 

"Well now she's focusing on hers. Don't make me be the responsible one, you know I hate that." Luke huffs. Then adds, "And don't tell Julie I said this but Dirty Candy is actually pretty good. So I'm kind of excited to watch them." 

Reggie mimics zipping his lips and just in time too, because the lights go down to single their start. Dirty Candy is as bright as ever- shiny sparkly uniforms reflecting off the spotlight, casting colorful glows all around the stage. They start in formation, and Luke frowns because Carrie isn't in the middle. It's the purple clad girl that Reggie was making winky faces at. Luke doesn't know if that's normal- if they switch who leads the group for fun- but it doesn't _seem_ like something that Carrie would do. 

_the way we dance, I know you see it,_

_the way we move, you want to be it,_

_there's nothing like us, nothing even close,_

_our voices move you, our colors blind you,_

Julie finds them at some point in the middle of the performance, single handedly rerouting all of Luke's attention away from the performance. She looks okay, if a little tired, so her talk with Nick must have gone well. 

"I'm fourty-four percent sure Flynn was flirting with Nick." She offers as an explanation to Luke's questioning look.

" _Nick_? I thought she liked someone else." 

"Yeah," Julie huffs a laugh. "Her and I are _definitely_ going to be talking later, trust me. She's not as subtle as she thinks she is. Also, I'm pretty sure Nick is co-managing our band now." 

Luke frowns. "All of this just happened now? Wow, Flynn works fast." 

Julie shrugs. "What can I say? She's the best in the business." 

"Speaking of the best-" Luke nods to the stage. 

_we walk onto the stage and you go, OOO,_

_yeah, you go OOO-_

_we make 'em drop, cause we pop, brighter than the sun,_

_we make 'em swoon, with just a tune, shining like the moon,_

_yeah, you go OOO_

_you just go OOO,_

"Carrie isn't leading." Julie mutters quietly.

"She isn't. Is that weird?" 

"A little." She says. But then her lips tug upward. "But that could also be a good thing. A good sign." 

"Of course it's a good thing," Reggie cuts in, "that girl is _killing_ it!" 

"Yeah, Cindy is amazing." Julie nods. "They all are." 

Luke gives her a look and Julie sticks her tongue out at him. "I know you like them too so don't give me that look _idiota."_

Luke snorts. 

_we make you sway, just from one "hey"_

_speeding down the runway,_

_the things we do, we're just that cool,_

_we make you go what?_

_we make you go OOO_

They end with a flourish. Cindy's got the biggest smile on her face, soaking in the applause like it's sunshine. Luke follows Julie's gaze to see her watching Carrie- watching the way that she's only got eyes for Cindy's blissful expression. 

"Yeah," Julie nods, sure now. "That's a good sign. That's a _great_ sign." 

Luke grins, happy that Julie is happy, and opens his mouth to respond, when someone speaks. 

"Julie, hi." 

The three of them turn and- 

It's fucking _Bobby._

Trevor, Bobby, who _ever-_ he's here, looking at Julie, smiling like he has the right to even _talk_ to her. 

"Mr. Wilson," Julie blinks. "Uh- hi." 

"Hey, can we talk?" He asks, shifting a little, fiddling with the sunglasses he probably just pulled off his face before coming over here. "It's about your band." 

"This is not good." Reggie says. And Luke is inclined to agree because Bobby knows about them, or at least, knows that they should be _dead._ But it's double not good because Julie really does _not_ need any more stress in her life- she has enough. Luke already has half a mind to tuck Julie under some covers and guard her bedroom door so that she can get some genuine _rest_ for once. 

"Tell him to go away." Luke says. He doesn't even want to confront Bobby like he used to. He just wants their band- Julie, Alex, Reggie- to be left alone. Luke has his family, he has his music, that's all he needs. "Tell him no. There's nothing to talk about." 

Julie's eyes flicker to him and even in that half-a-second glance he can see that she's going to tell Bobby yes. Luke knows that she feels bad about them not getting closure for the songs, but Luke genuinely doesn't _need_ it anymore. 

Julie gave him something much better than closure with Bobby- she helped heal the rift with his mom, she gave their band a second chance at greatness. Luke doesn't need anything more than that. Luke doesn't need anything more than _her_ and this and all they've created together. 

"Julie, I'm _fine,_ it's fine, _"_ Luke tries, "you don't have to-" 

"Yeah," She says, cutting him off, nodding at Bobby determinedly. "We can talk. I think we should." 

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway Kenny Ortega hire me challenge bc every single song lyric in this fic came out of my own brain 💫


	10. We're heaven on earth, melody and words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carrie raises an eyebrow. “Sparkles?” 
> 
> “Bad sparkles.” Flynn clarifies. 
> 
> “Interesting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally dissapeared for two weeks and then came back with this. literally I am that meme of: you think a depressed person could make this?  
> anyway enjoy your willex song and come follow me on tumblr to hear me ramble @handcoversheart-76

Julie follows Trevor into the hall, only regretting all of her life decisions a _little_ bit. She should've listened to Luke when he said not to bother because Julie doesn't actually know what she's going to _tell_ him. 

_hey, yeah sorry, my bandmates are actually ghosts that used to be in your band and they came to me when I played your CD in my studio. also, hey, what the fuck was up with you stealing their songs?_

Uh, No. Julie doesn't think that will work very well. But at least she's comforted by Reggie and Luke at her side, and the backup plan they made from when they first found out Trevor noticed them- make her boys visible and let them do the talking. 

Although, _she's_ gonna handle the song stealing. That will _not_ slide on her watch. Not only did he not share the wealth he made with the families, not only did he pass off Luke’s music as his own-which was huge to Julie personally-but he also took from the people he was supposed to be closest to. He took from the people that considered him family. 

They don’t like to talk about it much, but Julie can tell that Bobby meant a lot to all of them. When Alex mentioned Bobby, he’d stutter over the name, voice cracking and dipping, hurt shining in his eyes. He told Julie once, _Bobby was there for me, walked with me in the halls when Reg and Luke couldn’t,_ _offered me a place to stay if I ever needed it,_ _he was my brother._ Whenever Reggie would launch into a tale from back when they were alive, he’d say Bobby’s name like it was nothing- like it was just natural for Bobby to be there, on his mind, in his life. Reggie said his name with no malice, with a hint of affection, as if he’d already forgiven Bobby- as if he couldn’t even imagine staying mad at him.

Luke didn’t talk about Bobby. He didn’t even mention him outside of when he first realized their songs were stolen. In fact, whenever Reggie or Alex brought him up now, Luke would go quiet, detaching himself from the conversation. If Julie didn’t know Luke as well as she did, she’d think that he was still angry with Bobby. But she _did_ know him. She knew that Luke hooked on to people quickly, that he liked to make homes inside of them. That when he met someone he took them in and planted little pieces of himself inside of them, nourishing them. 

Julie knows that because she sees it everyday in his interactions with Reggie and Alex, in the way he regards Flynn- in the way he talks to _her._ Luke Patterson is a nester, and out of all of them, he's the one that was hurt the most by Bobby's betrayal. He tries to hide it under anger, but again, Julie knows him too well.

Bobby hurt a lot of people- most of which without knowing it- and Julie needed him to at least acknowledge that. 

She opens her mouth to get the first word out- because if she is going to have to expose her ghost band members, she at _least_ wants to establish her moral high ground- but Trevor surprises her. 

"Look, Julie, I want to apologize." He says, clearing his throat awkwardly. Julie is suddenly vividly reminded of Carrie and her not-apology and how uncomfortable she was trying to give it. She guesses Carrie had to learn that from somewhere. "I haven't been there for you the way I should've after Rose died."

Julie blinks, all the words dying on her tongue. She was _not_ expecting that at all. Clearly, neither were Reggie and Luke because their eyes both widen significantly. 

"Mr. Wilson, you-"

"No, Julie." He says firmly. "Maybe you aren't friends with Carrie anymore, and maybe I'm not as close with your father as I used to be, but that shouldn't have mattered. I put my grief for a friend over your grief for your mom, and for that I sincerely apologize." 

Julie inhales sharply, her eyes stinging. She didn't- 

When she was young, they'd have the Wilsons' over to their home all the time. They were basically like family. Trevor would sit on the counter and play his guitar while Ray would dance Rose all around the kitchen, and Carrie and Julie snuck cookies from under their noses. Or they'd play barbies in the living room while all three adults talked around them. If Julie ever needed help and her parents were at work, or she fell ill and needed to leave school early, she'd call Trevor and he'd be there in no time. 

The title of uncle was an honorary one but it didn't mean any less than her blood family did. 

She didn't realize how much the radio silence from the Wilsons _hurt_ until it was being acknowledged. 

"It's something that I have to work on-" Trevor continues, eyes gentle, "-the way that I deal with grief. And I'm trying. I'm really glad that you're doing better with your music, I'm just sorry that I wasn't there to help make things easier."

"It's okay Mr. Wilson," Julie starts, but changes her mind when he gives her a look. Because he's right, it wasn't okay."I mean- I forgive you. Everyone deals with these things differently. And besides, I had people looking out for me." 

Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Luke and Reggie perk up. 

"Yeah? That's good. I-" He pauses, biting his lip like he's unsure of how to go on. "When I was seventeen, I was in a band. We were called Sunset Curve." 

"Oh shit," Reggie says, "he's talking about us!" 

"And we were good." Trevor laughs, caught in memories. "We were _very_ good. I mean, maybe we thought we were better than we actually were, but a little arrogance is good for music, right? We almost played a sold out Orpheum, just like you and your band did. Key word being-"

"-Almost." Julie finishes for him, wincing a little. "You guys _almost_ made it." 

"You know the story." Trevor doesn't look surprised. 

"You used to go by Bobby." Julie says slowly. "You were in a band with three other kids- Luke, Alex and Reggie. They- they died the night of your Orpheum show. Food poisoning." 

Trevor chuckles, but the sound isn't happy- it's broken and pain filled. "So I guess that I'm _not_ starting to hallucinate in my old age. You really _do_ know my old bandmates." 

"Yeah, I do." She nods. "And I know about their music. The songs that Luke wrote." 

Trevor blinks. Luke starts a little. 

"Julie…" Luke says, but his eyes are on Trevor, watching him closely. He wants to hear Trevor's line of reasoning as much as Julie does, she can tell.

"I- I- " For a moment it looks like he's going to deny it. That he's going to insist that those songs are his and Luke Patterson _didn't_ pour his soul into writing them back when they were a band. But then he swallows, looks down at his shoes. "Yeah, Luke wrote them. I- like I said, I didn't handle grief well." 

Julie frowns. "That's not an excuse." 

Trevor looks up at her and she's startled by the tears in his eyes. "I know, Julie. Trust me, I know. I- God, I was seventeen and I'd just lost my three best friends in the whole world. My brothers. I was stuck at a venue that we worked _so_ hard to get to and I was _alone._ We dreamed that we were gonna be big, Julie. Legends. But that was all I had left of them. All of their stuff was taken away, back to their parents or put up in boxes. I had nothing else _but_ the music. I had nothing else _but_ the dream. I had to live it. For them. That was the only way I could keep them alive." 

Julie hears Luke inhale sharply. Her chest aches. She can _feel_ herself softening. "But you didn't give a single credit?"

Trevor laughs wetly. "My manager told me not to- said giving credit to a dead name would pull attention to the wrong place. Said that Sunset Curve was gone. That I needed to move on if I wanted to be successful. And my parents didn't know anything about the music industry, and neither did I. How could I? I was only-" 

"Seventeen." Julie finishes. She's at a loss for what to say to help him, but then-

"Julie," Luke says, voice determined. "Make me visible." 

Julie jerks a little, eyes flickering to Reggie, who's watching Luke with wide, wet eyes, fiddling with his sleeves. She looks back to Luke, but Luke only has eyes for Trevor. 

"Maybe not-" 

Trevor blinks. "Maybe not what?" 

"Julie," Luke says again, pleading now. "Please." 

Julie falters, then takes a breath and steps back. Trevor watches her with confused eyes, and it's because of that, that Julie can see the exact moment that Luke becomes visible to him. Trevor falls back against the hallway wall, eyes huge, face pale. 

They stare at one another for a moment, Trevor full of shock and Luke just- quiet. Still in the way that Luke hardly ever is. Watching, searching for something- what, Julie doesn't know. He must find it though because after a moment he takes a small step forward. 

"Bobby-" Luke says, voice gentle in that way he has sometimes, the way that he has when he's trying to comfort. As soon as he hears it, Trevor's shock melts and he breaks down into tears. 

Luke's shocked still, not expecting that reaction, but Reggie moves to Bobby's side. 

"Bobby, hey," Reggie says softly, motioning like he's patting his shoulder, "don't cry dude- you're messing up your cool aesthetic." 

Trevor sob-laughs and it's probably the most depressing sound Julie's ever heard. "Reg, you always hated people who wear sunglasses indoors." 

Luke hesitantly steps close and mimics Reggie's arm patting and that must mean something to Trevor because he kind of starts crying even harder. Luke winces. 

"Dude, seriously, it's okay-" He says. "I mean, you didn't know we'd come back as ghosts. If you keep crying I'm gonna have to go get Alex." 

Bobby takes a shuddering breath and presses his hands to his face. When he talks his voice comes out muffled. "I'm just crying because it's been twenty five years and you've _still_ got that stupid haircut." 

Luke's jaw drops and Reggie chokes. 

"I- _my hair is stupid?"_ Luke repeats incredulously. "Are you trying to give me _fashion_ tips? You literally wear sunglasses indoors-" 

“-what is that thing the kids say Julie? Jealousy is not the way?” 

Julie nods, holding back giggles at Luke’s deeply offended face. She’s a little worried because it was only twenty minutes ago that Luke was ready to dismiss Trevor entirely, but it seems that she doesn’t have to worry too much because that mock offense melts from Luke’s expression as quickly as it came.

“Sunset curve is not gone Bobby.” He says seriously. “We’re right here-” Luke gestures to Bobby’s chest, “always. Nothing will ever change that. It's just- _other_ things have just changed now, that’s all.” 

“Like with mom.” Julie says. "She'll always be with me, even if she isn't." Bobby looks at her and his expression wavers for a moment before he nods. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” 

Reggie grins, glad that everything's been cleared up. He knocks against Luke's shoulder excitedly. "This means we can jam together again!"

Trevor straightens slowly, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face. Luke nods. 

"Oh yeah, let's see if you've gotten any better old man-" Luke teases and he opens his mouth to retaliate but Luke grabs Reggie. "We're gonna go get Alex, bye!" 

They poof away and Julie is yet again holding back giggles at Trevor's face. He pauses, then looks at her, his face softening significantly. 

“You know Julie, if you _had_ to be stuck with ghosts for bandmates, I’m glad you got these boys. They’re a pretty solid bunch.” 

Julie grins, all warm in the chest as she always is when she thinks about her boys. “Yeah, I know. I'm glad I got them too."

...

The next day, Julie has Nick and Carrie over. As soon as Flynn hears about it, she cancels her plan to binge watch _Shera_ for the third time and hurries over. 

She doesn't exactly know what she's expecting but when she gets there, Nick is sitting on a stool, an electric guitar loose in his hands and a shy smile on his face, listening to air. Judging from the half smitten, half exasperated look on Julie's face as she watches the same section of air, Luke must be telling Nick a story, maybe even giving him some guitar tips. 

Carrie is sitting a bit away, scribbling on a piece of paper and either she's gained telepathy since Flynn has last seen her, or that floating pencil is Alex. And speaking of the last time she's seen Carrie, Flynn has been _actively_ blocking that out of her mind- the tension in the air, the flush on both their cheeks- nope. Nope. Flynn is _not_ thinking about it, she is _not._

Except for the small tiny itty bitty fact that she is thinking about it. She's thinking about it very much and all the time. So. There's that.

"I can't believe y'all are having a party without me!" Flynn says, playfully crossing her arms over her chest. 

Julie beams and that expression is mirrored in both Carrie and Nick, but Flynn is a master of turning a cheek, so she just- pretends not to notice. _Maybe_ she files it away deep in the back of her mind for later examination. _Maybe_ it will be permanently seared into her memory banks to obsess over the many meanings it could have. But if she did, that secret would live and die with her, thank you very much. 

"It's not a party without you Flynn," Julie says, "you know that." 

One of her braids starts to float, getting tugged gently and Flynn grins, swatting at the air. "Reggie, why are you acting up so early? I just got here." 

There's a pause. 

"He says that he can't help himself." Julie snickers. 

Flynn rolls her eyes playfully and moves closer, pulling up a stool next to Nick. She bumps his arm gently, making his smile. 

"Hi co-manager," she says softly, "how are you doing?" 

She would be remiss if she didn’t take notice of the exhausted lines in his face, or the unsteady, unsure way that he moves. Nervous, anxious, second guessing everything he does. Flynn guesses that having a ghost take over your body would make you do that. 

“I’m...okay.” He says slowly. “I guess I’ve technically been worse right? So this is an improvement.” 

And it’s clear that he’s trying for a joke, but the truth behind it makes the statement fall flat. Carrie steps close, placing a hand on Nick’s shoulder comfortingly. He hunches a little, but leans back into her touch. Flynn’s heart hurts for him- she wants to find Caleb and make him regret ever laying a hand on her friends. And from the looks on both Carrie and Julie’s faces, she’s not alone. 

Julie startles a little and looks over to the side, like she’s listening. “Okay, do you need help? No? Okay, be safe, tell him I said hello.” 

Nick waves. “Bye Luke.” 

“The boys are leaving?” Flynn asks, frowning. The fact that Nick can see the ghosts is something she's gonna have to get used to.

“Yeah, Alex wants to see Willie- says he has a gift for him.” Julie pinches the bridge of her nose, clearly stressed. “They promised to come back before dark if they couldn’t find him.” 

“Okay, good.” 

“So what’s going on?” Carrie asks, tone sharp. “Because just a week ago there was no such thing as ghosts and now I know of four and one of them fucked with my- my Nick.” 

They all notice her falter, but don’t comment on it. 

Julie sighs. “Okay, well, you know Luke, Reggie and Alex by now, and you know how we met. But then there’s Caleb. Caleb is- he’s-” 

“Basically Hades from Hercules.” Flynn jumps in. “Except with more sparkles and more tricks.” 

Carrie raises an eyebrow. “Sparkles?” 

“Bad sparkles.” Flynn clarifies. 

“Interesting.” Carrie says. “Alright, so all we need to do is tell Caleb to fuck off.” 

“Yeah, and that’ll work up until he decides to possess one of us. Again.” Nick sighs. And he looks so downtrodden that Flynn instinctively reaches over and folds her hand over his. He blinks at her for a second. Flynn’s cheeks flush and she’s about to pull away, play it off as an accident, but then Nick holds on, his surprise melting into gratitude. Flynn tears her gaze away from his to see Julie watching with an _oh really?_ look on her face. 

Flynn doesn’t want to look over to Carrie, nervous at what she’s gonna see.

She doesn't know if she wants Carrie to remember the way Flynn held her hand when she was upset- she doesn't know if she wants Carrie to make that connection. 

“I won’t let him.” Julie says firmly. “If he wants to have at it, he’s gonna face me directly. He’s not gonna wear any more of my friend’s faces or hide behind stamps.” 

“You’re not doing this alone-” Nick says, unconsciously squeezing Flynn’s hand tighter. 

“Yeah,” Flynn huffs. “You’re not the only one that has a bone to pick with this ghost.” 

Julie grins and they all look at Carrie. Carrie rolls her eyes, but the effect is undercut by the way she’s smiling. 

“If it isn’t clear by now that I’m willing to beat a ghost up, then I don’t know what is.”

...

"Alright," Reggie asks as soon as they're out of the studio, "what is this gift you have for Willie? Is it chocolates? Flowers? I don't see any teddy bears." 

Luke snorts and Alex shoves him a little. 

"No, dude. Uh, last night I asked for Julie's help in writing a song." He admits softly. He fishes into his jacket pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. 

Luke takes it, unfolds it and as he reads, his small smile grows until it's big and bright. Reggie peaks over Luke's shoulder and whistles low as he reads. 

"Dude," Reggie says, voice hushed, "this is _good._ Are you seriously about to put Luke out of a job?" 

Luke pouts when Alex breaks out into laughter. 

"Luke," Alex says once he catches his breath. He wills his drumsticks to him and holds them out for Luke to take, "Do you think you can hit some circles for me?"

Luke's lips turn upward and he gets this soft proud look in his eyes. Alex imagines it as the way his family would've looked at him if things turned out differently. Alex also recognizes that Luke looks at him like that _all the time_ and he and Reggie are Alex's true definition of family so Alex is honestly okay with the way things turned out. 

Luke takes the drumsticks. "Of course 'Lex. Come on Reggie, let's go serenade Alex's boyfriend."

Alex blinks. "That's not- okay." 

...

There's a moment when Nick and Flynn head into the house to get snacks and it's just Julie and Carrie sitting together awkwardly, years and years of history between them. 

"Julie-" Carrie starts, then stops. "Julie, I'm so sorry. For real this time." 

Julie looks up. 

"I made things so much harder for you after- after your mom. And I shouldn't have." She says. "I should've been there for you like Flynn was. I mean- I knew exactly how you were feeling. I should've been the _first_ person by your side and I wasn't. That was really shitty of me." 

Julie is quiet for a moment, thinking. She thinks about Trevor, and his little- _it's something I have to work on, the way I deal with grief-_ she thinks about the way Luke's face looked once he was able to reconcile with Bobby, the way he looked lighter after. 

"I just hope we can get back to the way we used to be." Carrie continues, picking at her nail polish. "Or at least try to. I mean- I really do miss you." 

Julie gently knocks their shoes together, making Carrie look up. 

"I miss you too. I'd love that- to try to be how it was." She says. Then her smile vanishes. "Just don't hurt Flynn. Or else."

Carrie splutters but Julie only glares harder until she ducks her head to hide her pink cheeks. 

"Alright, I- I promise. I won't hurt Flynn. I wouldn't." 

Julie beams. "Good! Welcome back to my life, now newly updated with a bunch of ghosts and magical musical performances!" 

…

They had a spot now- the basically abandoned skatepark where Alex ran into Willie before. Before Willie and Alex knew each other- and it was strange to think there was a time when Alex didn't even know Willie _existed-_ Willie would hang out there and do tricks from time to time. But now that Willie knew Alex was looking for him, he skated near there more often. 

As soon as they poofed in, Alex got the urge to leave. 

Maybe he wasn't as ready as he thought he was- or what if he didn't practice the song enough? What if it wasn't actually good but all his friends were just too nice to tell him the truth and-

Luke puts two hands on Alex's shoulders and squeezes, jolting him out of his thoughts. "You've got this Alex. Don't go freezing up now." 

Alex's eyes flicker to Reggie who's nodding encouragingly. He relaxes a little. 

"Alright. Okay. Whew, I'm- I'm chill. I'm _so_ chill." 

Luke pulls back and Reggie raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Cause you sound _not_ chill." 

"Listen Alex," Luke says, "Willie is gonna like it no matter what- whether or not it's good. But also, that doesn't even matter because it _is_ good. And _you_ are good and this is gonna be _great."_

Alex takes a breath and shakes out his hands. "Alright. You're right. Okay, I'm going over." 

He poofs over to Willie, sitting down next to him on the bench. Willie startles a little but then his face breaks out into a huge smile. 

"Hotdog! What are you-"

"I have a gift for you." Alex blurts before he can change his own mind. 

Willie blinks like he's never heard of the word gift before. "You- what? You got me a _gift_? Why?"

Alex shrugs even though the words are on the tip of his tongue. "You deserve it." He curls a hand over Willie's, decidedly not turning bright pink when Willie immediately interlocks their fingers. "But this gift is in music form, so I had to ask for a little help." 

Alex squeezes his hand and then pulls away, willing Luke's guitar to his hands. It's a million times harder than getting his own drums but Alex has been practicing for this very occurrence. Willie's eyes widen when it comes to his hands and he looks delighted, excited to hear Alex sing. Excited to hear Alex sing a song just for him. 

Alex takes a breath, and lets go, giving himself to the music, to Willie. He hopes that the words he's been repeatedly thinking come across clear over the lyrics. He hopes that Willie _understands-_ how badly Alex needs him in his life, his much Alex wants to keep Willie safe. 

_I'll always be there, I'll always be there_

_when the skies open and the fire crawls close,_

_I will stick by your heart, I promise, I swear_

Willie makes a sound and Alex can hear it, even over his gentle guitar. Alex wants to bottle up that sound- soft, touched surprise- so he can listen to it whenever he's not feeling his best. 

Reggie and Alex poof in with their instruments, adding to the sound, but Willie only has eyes for Alex. 

_there's no riverbend, there's no road, there's no barren land that I wouldn't go,_

_together is where I want to be, together with just you and me,_

_when the skies open and the fire crawls close,_

_I will stick by your heart, when you need it the most,_

_when the ground crumbles and the trees start to shake,_

_ill follow you down, all the way, till we can find the coast_

Alex's strumming slows down to mere plucking, and Luke and Reggie poof away, stripping the sound bare, making it more intimate. Alex moves closer to Willie, standing right in front of him, _serenading_ him.

_there's no riverbend, there's no road,_

_there's no barren land that I wouldn't go,_

_I'll always be there, I'll always be there,_

_when the ground crumbles and the trees start to shake,_

_I will stick by your heart, I promise, I swear_

Alex comes to a stop, with playing, with singing, and just- waits anxiously for Willie's reaction. He hopes that it's good. He hopes that Willie knows what he's trying to say. He- well, he hopes a lot of things, but namely that Willie feels the same way. 

Willie stands slowly and steps close. Alex stays completely still as Willie gets into his space, placing a hand on the guitar and gently pushing down out of his way. Alex's breath hitches when Willie curls both hands on either side of Alex's face and pulls him into a tender kiss. 

When he pulls away, he doesn't go far- letting their foreheads rest on each other, keeping them breathing the same air. 

"I hear you Alex." Willie says softly. It's a quiet whisper. It's only for him. "I hear you, and of course I feel the same way. How could I not?" 

Something loosens in Alex's chest and he feels like he's floating on air.

...

Carrie and Nick stay over for only a little while longer before they have to go, but Julie is satisfied with everything they've done. Nick still looks unsteady but at the very least, he's armed with knowledge. And Carrie seems content to offer herself up as a weapon- some type of ghost hunting ammunition just for Nick. 

Julie had to cough back a laugh when Carrie painted the picture of her beating a ghost to double death with her bubblegum pink handbag. Flynn, though amused, seemed determined to make it known to Carrie that _you should not confront him alone, he's dangerous and could really hurt you._ Carrie looked touched and Nick had this tiny secret smile on his face and it suddenly _clicked_ for Julie. 

She moved the conversation along to lighter topics, throwing out the idea of a ghostly group chat that Flynn instantly ran with, but she kept that image in her head. Flynn worried for Carrie, worried for Nick, heart on her sleeve the way she always is, and them both looking completely enamoured with it. 

"So," Julie starts, leaning against her bedroom doorway, watching as Flynn drops down onto her bed. "Nick huh?" 

Flynn instantly shoots back up, and for a moment it looks like she's going to protest, but then she wilts, looking embarrassed. "Was I that obvious?"

Julie hums. "Not obvious. Oblivious though- what's _obvious_ is the fact that they like you back. Both of them." 

Flynn flops back on the bed again, groaning loud. "They wouldn't Julie. You're such an optimist. They're like- power couple to the extreme, they're probably going to get back together in a week or two and leave me in the dust." 

Julie frowns. 

She stops leaning against her door frame and grabs a pillow. She pauses, and then wacks Flynn right in the face, making her splutter. 

"Are you talking bad about my best friend?" Julie asks, raising the pillow threateningly. Flynn nearly chokes. 

"Jules-" She gasps, but Julie isn't satisfied. 

"Are you?" She asks, and then smacks her again, making her burst into a new round of snorts and giggles. The kind that hurt your stomach and make your eyes all teary. 

" _Julie-"_ Flynn manages, "you're crazy!" 

"Crazy about you maybe!" Julie says and gets in a bunch of little hits before Flynn tries to take the pillow away from her. Julie gets on top of her and again holds the pillow up, threatening to hit her. "Say it! Say that you're beautiful and talented and amazing and that those two would be _lucky_ to have you!" 

Flynn hiccups from trying to hold back laughter but ultimately sighs and gives up. "I'm beautiful and talented and amazing." She says, smiling fondly. 

"And?" Julie prompts. 

"And those two would be lucky to have me." She says exasperatedly. Julie grins and nods and starts to get off of Flynn, but Flynn takes her by surprise and flips them, grabbing the pillow and hitting Julie a couple of times. 

They wrestle a little before collapsing in an exhausted pile on the bed. 

"Oh my god-" Julie says once she's caught her breath. Flynn looks over. "You like Nick." 

Flynn frowns a little, because _yes, we've covered that-_ but Julie sits up, shaking her head. 

"No, no, I mean- you like _Nick."_ She says again. " _You know who I'm liking way before I like them because you liked them first."_

Flynn throws her hands over her face. "Not me trying super hard to get you and Nick together because I liked him-" 

"Not you falling for Carrie, my ex and your self appointed 'worst enemy'." Julie adds, using _heavy_ quotation marks around the words worst enemy. 

Flynn flushes and stands. "You know what, I don't have to take this- I'm going to get some cookies and when I come back, we will _not_ be speaking about it." As she passes she pokes Julie in the forehead and Julie tips back, sprawling onto her bed, feeling the events of the last couple days weighing down on her. 

She can't wait to catch up on some well needed rest and relax with Flynn, maybe eat too much junk food and toss song concepts back and forth. And when the boys get back maybe they'll watch a couple of movies or some episodes of Shera. 

Julie's eyes are just closing when she hears a familiar poofing noise. Without opening them she asks, "how did it go? Did he like the song?"

She's fully expecting Luke to start chattering excitedly about the song, or the opportunity to play the drums, and to have Reggie sit down on the bed next to her and listen to him as if he wasn't already there himself. She figures she'll have to cut Luke off just to let Alex gush about Willie and how in love he is, but Instead of any of that, she hears an unfamiliar voice. 

"So you're the girl whose power exceeds my own?" 

Julie sits up, wide eyes instantly catching on the black and purple clad man standing at her vanity, peering down at her little trinkets. 

"What the f-"

He turns around, his cape swishing, his eyes flashing. "Hello Julie Molina, I'm Caleb Covington and I've got an offer that you can't refuse." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not ME writing a cliffhanger 😳 <3 mwah love you all


	11. You got nothing to lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb's lip twitches, the briefest crack in his façade before going back to that sympathetic, earnest expression. "Don't you want to see your mom again?" 
> 
> Julie's heart stops. 
> 
> "What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh ohhhhhhh 😳 DRAMAAAA

Julie is instantly put on high alert. 

"Offer?" She repeats. "I don't want anything from you- there isn't anything you could give me." 

Caleb rolls his neck a little, his expression passive, a little bored. It sets Julie's teeth on edge. She needs to get out. She can't be in the same room as him. She can't do this again.

"Are you _certain_ you don't want to hear what I have to say?" He asks. "I'm sure it will interest you greatly." 

It's just then that Julie realizes- she _needs_ to hear him out. Not so much out of real interest, but more so because she needs him to keep talking until Flynn comes back, or until she can get to the door. Because what if he gets impatient and just decides to possess her? 

If he gets control of her then he'd have direct access to her boys and she is _not_ going to let that happen. 

"Sure. Fine. Alright." Julie grits. "What's the offer?" 

Caleb rolls his neck a little, his expression passive, a little bored. It sets Julie's teeth on edge. She needs to get out. She can't be in the same room as him. She can't do this again.

"Are you _certain_ you don't want to hear what I have to say?" He asks. "I'm sure it will interest you greatly." 

It's just then that Julie realizes- she _needs_ to hear him out. Not so much out of real interest, but more so because she needs him to keep talking until Flynn comes back, or until she can get to the door. Because what if he gets impatient and just decides to possess her? 

If he gets control of her then he'd have direct access to her boys and she is _not_ going to let that happen. 

"Sure. Fine. Alright." Julie grits. "What's the offer?" 

Caleb's smile stretches across his face but Julie can tell it's not real. It's patronizing and if he wasn't a super powerful, insanely threatening ghost Julie might have pushed him out of her bedroom window. 

He steps closer and Julie hardly stops herself from jumping back. 

"You know- I know a little something about grief. Maybe I don't seem like it, but I had people too." He says. "I had to lose them, just as you have." 

Julie shoots to her feet. "You don't know _anything_ about my grief so don't you _dare-"_

"I don't know anything about your grief?" Caleb asks, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe not yours per say. But do I know about missing someone so badly that it hurts to breath? Having them always on your mind in everything you do and everywhere you go? Feeling like you'd be willing to do _anything_ to have them back with you?"

Julie is shocked into silence. 

Caleb tilts his head at her, his eyes far away. "Mhm, I know enough about grief." He pauses, seeming to come back to himself, and takes another step forward. "But dear, you don't _have_ to feel this way. You and I, we're different. We're powerful. We have abilities that others don't. Why shouldn't we use them to our advantage? Why shouldn't we use them to get the things that we want?" 

Julie's shoulders slowly come down from around her ears. "The things that we want?" 

Caleb's lip twitches, the briefest crack in his façade before going back to that sympathetic, earnest expression. "Don't you want to see your mom again?" 

Julie's heart stops. 

"What?" She breathes. 

"Your mother." He repeats. "Did you want to see her again? Because I can make that happen." 

Julie feels like she was dunked into an ice cold bath. Her _mom._ She could see her mother again. Hear her laugh, see her smile, press their foreheads together the way they used to. There is _nothing_ that she wants more than to bury herself in her mama's arms, tuck her head under Rose's chin. 

“You could-” 

Caleb nods, smiling gently, the light making him look...less. Less evil, less cold, less horrifying. “Yes I could. I can make ghosts visible, transport them- I could certainly make your mom visible to you, bring her here.” 

“You’d-” But then Julie stops. Call it her subconscious, call it her mother’s parenting screaming her head- _don’t expect anything for free in this world mija, there is always a price, don’t let it sneak up on you-_ but whatever it is, it causes her to squint. “Wait. What do you want? You wouldn’t do this for me unless I had something that you wanted.” 

Caleb’s trick of the light soft expression twists. “Smart girl.” He chuckles. He crosses his arms over his chest, purple glitter sleeves gleaming. “You do have something that I want- something that I’d be willing to trade for a little magic. Here is my proposal: I’ll bring you your mother in exchange for your bandmates.” 

_Fuck_ , Julie thinks. 

“Think about it,” he continues, uncrossing his arms and moving towards her, walking around her. “The boys still want to perform- that’s their dream, their one passion, the reason they’re still on Earth- with me they could do that for eternity. Always getting recognition, always writing new music. Eventually you’ll grow old, pass on, leave them behind.” 

Julie blanches; she hadn’t thought of that. 

“With me they’d all be together, they’d never be alone. And for Alex, he’d be with Willie. Think of how much it hurts him to not have the one person that he wants. Think about how much he suffers because of it.” Caleb pauses, stepping back over to the window. He looks out of it, not even sparing her a glance. "The only thing keeping them from all that they want is _you_ Julie." 

Julie feels _sick._ Because he's right. 

He's _right._

She can't help replaying those moments in her head- Luke's face when he can't talk to audience members after a good performance, the longing that Alex has when he gets back from a date with Willie, god, even Reggie and the way he wished he was still a part of Hollywood Ghost Club just so he could stay with his bandmates forever. It was only for a _fraction_ of a moment and he said it when he was distressed but _still._ The core of it probably still rung true. 

And Caleb is right that the only thing keeping the boys here is her. She knows that she isn't ready to let them go because it honestly still feels like she just got them. But how fair is it to make them stay with her, make them possibly unhappy, just to end up growing up and leaving _them_ behind. 

"When they were at the club," she starts slowly, "did they seem...happy?" 

Caleb doesn't answer right away- which, good, because Julie knows if he did, he'd be lying. "I believe so. As happy as teenage boys can be around music, food and girls. I put on a pretty good show for them." 

"And is that what it was?" Julie asks. "A show?" 

"Every day is a show." He says. "If you're living right, life should be a performance." 

"You're dead." She deadpans. 

"Dead set on having a good time." 

Julie is quiet for a moment, thinking it over. The idea that her boys are unhappy with her, that they long for more, makes her stomach tight, mixing with the anxiety she _already_ has from being in the same space as a ghost that has possession powers. She just wants everyone in her life to be happy- but she wants them to be _safe_ too. 

She doesn't know if her boys will be safe with Caleb. Their talent, their souls, their hearts- Julie can't be sure that Caleb will take care of them the way they deserve. Not to mention, Julie knows for a fact that he's not taking care of Willie the way he deserves. She can see it when he thinks no one is looking- the way he winces, the way he shifts, the way his smile dims before he forces it back- 

No. 

She won't let him sway her. She won't let him get into her head and change the things that she _knows_ to be true. She _just_ told Trevor that even if her mother isn't with her, Julie doesn't go a day without her. Julie honestly believes that. Her mom is in everything that Julie does- she doesn't need to see her to know that she's here. 

And besides, having her back would erase all the progress that Julie's made over the year- all the long nights and the skipped meals and the teary mornings. Julie went through that, and still is. No one, especially not a manipulative ghost with a top hat, is going to take that away from her. 

"No." Julie says, feeling weirdly calm. At peace. Maybe she's afraid but she knows she's making the right choice. She knows that her mother would be proud. "No, I won't take your deal."

Caleb jerks, his forehead wrinkling. "You-" he huffs a breath in disbelief. "You aren't going to take the deal?"

"No, I won't." She crosses her arms over her chest. 

"You realize what I'm giving you?" He splutters. "Your mother- who's _dead-_ I'm giving you the chance to see her again. To talk with her."

Julie swallows, curling her fingers into her sweater sleeves so he couldn't see the way they shake. Desire, burning and relentless, climb up her throat, almost coaxing her to say- _I'm sorry, please, I'm sorry, I want to see her again, I do, please-_ but she bites down on her bottom lip and nods. 

"Yes, I know." She manages. "And I'm not interested. So _fuck off.”_

There's a quiet, dangerous moment where Julie thinks he won't listen. Where she's scared for her life- worried that she's going to get possessed and turned against her friends, her _family_. Caleb's eyes switch to a deep purple and the air around her gets tight, like it's charged with electricity and Julie cringes back, wishing her ghosts were by her side, knowing that if she had them, she'd feel infinitely braver.

But then, he pauses, and his eyes snap back to their normal color. He takes a step back, considering. 

"Hm, alright." His voice is calm, and it instantly makes Julie's hackles rise. He takes another step back, raising his hands like, _what can you do?_ "Fine. You've declined. That's alright." 

She frowns, still on edge. 

"But you know- I offered _you_ a deal. It's only fair that I give equal opportunity to the boys." 

"They're never going to make a deal with you." Julie says, completely confident about that. "Maybe you're enticing at first, but they're been hurt by you before- they won't fall for it again. And besides, last time you had ghost abilities to make them visible when they wanted to talk to Bobby. You don't have anything else that they want. There is nothing you can offer them."

Caleb smiles, but the way it stretches across his face makes Julie shudder. "You, my dear. They would trade anything, even freedom, for you." 

Julie's eyes widen and she moves to run, but Caleb flicks his wrist and blows into his hand and suddenly she's enveloped in a cloud of smoke. 

…

Reggie feels it the _moment_ it happens. 

It's like there's something there and then it's gone- like there was a warmth, a swell of something that was curled right beneath his heart, a pulse of something in his chest, that was taken from him. 

It made Reggie stop in his tracks. 

His gaze flickers to Luke, who has also jerked to a stop. 

"Luke-" 

"I know." He says. "I feel it. We- we need to get back. We need to get to Julie." 

Reggie doesn't need to be told twice and instantly poofs into the Molina's living room. For a moment, nothing seems amiss. Carlos is fiddling with his switch, legs crossed on the couch and Ray is rustling around in the kitchen, chopping bell peppers on the cutting board. There is a gentle peace that Reggie has come to associate with the Molina household. Other than that feeling in Reggie’s chest, everything feels alright. 

And then Flynn comes running down the stairs, a vaguely distressed expression on her face. 

“Flynn,” Reggie starts before remembering that she can’t hear them. 

Thankfully, Carlos notices her rushing out and jumps up. “Flynn? You alright?” 

“Yeah,” she answers, and accidentally runs right through Luke to get to the front door. “I’m just checking the studio for Julie. She wasn’t in her room.” 

He pauses, frowning. “...she didn’t walk by. Are you sure she isn’t in the bathroom?” 

“I’m sure. I just- let me check the studio. Maybe you missed her.” 

And Flynn walks out of the door with Carlos on her trail. Reggie looks at Luke, who is beginning to look despaired and then Alex, who’s lasting smile from getting to see Willie is slowly falling off his face. That feeling in Reggie’s gut- the missing warmth- he knows what it means. The thought makes him want to crumple to the ground, but he can’t. He can’t. 

He knows down to his soul, which is why his voice cracks down the middle of saying, "Julie is missing. And I think I know where she could be." 

...

Willie's supposed to be working. Which is usually the situation that he finds himself in. He's supposed to be working and then he doesn't and then he gets in trouble. And most of the time, it all traces back to one reason, one person: Alex. 

And while, yes, Alex contributed to this instance- because Willie can't get his song out of his head or his face out of his mind- but this time it’s different. He’s putting down tables for the next night crew, humming along to Alex’s guitar tune when he feels something shift. It’s like the air in the club gets warmer; the way that it usually does when it opens, letting Lifers in for the night. Willie looks up, confused, because they don’t open for another hour and this warmth had to be more than one person; it was that expansive. 

But the only thing he sees is the flap of Caleb’s cape and a familiar head of dark brown curls, and that is all it takes for his stomach to drop to his toes. 

He doesn’t hesitate to weave through the rest of the HGC workers, making his way to the bottom of the stairs just in time to see Caleb walking down with Julie Molina on his heels. She looks furious, brows furrowed, fists clenched. She’s saying, “-you can’t just keep me here! I am not some little pawn in your chess game.” 

Willie turns away abruptly and ducks his head. And maybe he misses Caleb’s response, but they don’t see him so Willie considers that a win. They keep going, walking through the main hall until they’re out of sight, headed for Caleb’s main office. 

Something is seriously wrong here. Willie can just feel it. Honestly, he can see it. Julie should’ve never stepped foot in this place. And from what he’s hearing, she didn’t want to. He needs to figure out what’s going on- but he also needs to keep Caleb’s attention off him because Willie’s in enough trouble as it is. So he goes back to setting up tables and chairs and once he feels it’s been long enough- and by that, he means once he sees Caleb make his way to the stage for sound check- he ducks into the hall. 

He falters outside of Caleb’s office, nervous to go inside. He doesn’t like to ruminate on the raw power that Caleb holds- the way that he could make Willie’s life so much harder with a simple snap of his fingers. Willie tries his best to stay on his good side, hoping that he’ll be looked on with benevolent eyes, but he isn’t stupid. Willie knows that he’s trapped here and no amount of tiptoeing will keep him on Caleb’s good side forever. This is eternity and at some point he has to decide if living like this is really living at all. 

He swallows his fear and nudges the door open. 

“Julie?” He calls. “Are you in here?” 

He hears a sharp gasp, and she goes, “ _ Willie _ ,” and suddenly a mass of curly brown hair is jumping at him, launching towards him. Willie braces to catch her, but of course, he’s dead. She passes through him, stumbling, leaving warmth in her wake. 

“Julie! Shit, are you okay?” He turns and drops down onto his knees, joining her on the floor. His hands hover over hers, and he wishes he could touch her, steady her the way that Alex probably would. “Did you hit your head? Julie?” 

She straightens and Willie’s worrying increases tenfold when he sees the tears in her eyes. 

"Are you hurt?" He frets. 

Thankfully, Julie shakes her head, leaning her weight back so she's sitting criss-cross applesauce, her back to the closed door. "I'm okay, really. I- I'm just really glad to see you. I thought I was alone. I thought I was-" 

She stops herself, but not before Willie hears her loud and clear. 

_ I thought I was trapped here.  _

"Well, you aren't." He says firmly, meaning it both ways. Every way. "I'm here. What happened?" 

And so she starts to explain, starting at Caleb's offer and then ending with his new plan and if Willie had a stomach, he'd throw up. 

"Fuck, I'm-" He falters, still shocked. "I'm glad you didn't take his deal because he doesn't have the ability to make the deceased visible to lifers after they've passed on. He was trying to trick you." 

Julie's shoulders dip a little. "So you're saying that there's no chance of me seeing my mother?" 

"I'm sorry Julie." 

She makes a small sound, like her soul getting wounded, but straightens up after a brief moment. "I knew it was too good to be true. But I didn't expect him to do  _ this.  _ I mean- I don't even know where I  _ am."  _

"This is the Hollywood Ghost Club," Willie says, flourishing his hands sardonically. "Well- it's Caleb's office to be exact. And I'd tell you about how amazing it is and how much fun every single night here would be, but I think you'd know I was lying and also, I'm not currently on the payroll." 

"Yeah," And at this Julie starts to stand, emboldened by Willie's presence, "we've really got to talk about that." 

She offers him a hand up and he blinks at it for a solid three seconds. She shakes it insistently so he takes it, shocked when he makes contact. She helps him to his feet. 

"Talk about what? The HGC reviews?"

"Yes-" She starts, then stops, her brows furrowing. "Uh- no, but we should probably talk about that too. No, I mean you being on Caleb's payroll. That has  _ got  _ to stop." 

He huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah, well, what can you do when you sign a contract trading away the only thing you have?" 

He's talking about his soul, but of course, he means everything else too. 

He was so  _ so  _ young when he first met Caleb. Young and scared and confused. All he wanted were answers. All he wanted were friends. Drifting along doing whatever you wanted for all eternity  _ sounds _ nice in the first couple of years, but after that, you can catch loneliness just as easily any other illness. 

So yeah, he wanted into the club. It was advertised as endless fun, food and  _ friends.  _ Ghosts, like him, going through the exact same things he was. At the time, the only thing Willie had to offer was his skateboard and his soul. And so, being dead already, he didn't think much of handing it over. 

He didn't realize that he was giving away his freedom with it. 

Julie frowns. "We're going to get you out of here." 

Willie can't hide his scoff of disbelief in time and looks down to the left. 

But Julie doesn't seem deterred. "Willie." She says firmly, making him look at her. Her jaw is set and yeah, her eyes are red rimmed and she looks exhausted, but her eyes are shining with determination. "We are going to get you out of here okay? I promise." 

Willie wants so badly to believe her. He does. It's just- He's been here for  _ so  _ long. It feels like there is no other place. Nowhere else for him to go. 

"Let's just focus on getting you home first huh?" He says instead, eyes flickering down, "Then we can worry about everything else." 

Julie looks like she wants to protest, but then understands: Willie isn't going anywhere. He's already dead.  _ She's  _ the top priority at this point.  _ She's  _ the one that Caleb wants. 

"Okay, Willie. Okay." She nods, taking a breath in. "So what's the plan?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be the second to last chapter of this story BUT we might have to make this out of 13 😳

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @handcoversheart-76 so we can talk about 1. jatp and 2. this fic cause she's gonna be a doozy and 3. so i can have friends in the jatp fandom (literally WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU)


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